#I've never understood it nor will I
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Just got my ass handed to me in smash how's your day going
#smash players are a different breed man#they select specific stages cos they know the songs for each one#and they want to vibe#it's like their own playlist#“final destination no items”#my brother in christ did you pay 60 bucks#to play a competitive platformer#I've never understood it nor will I#i always found items more fun#adds to the chaos#anyways got my ass HANDED to me
0 notes
Text
celebrity cameos and endless a-list castings kind of ruin novelty and immersion, and it seems like most people agree with this, yet continue to perpetuate the phenomenon by saying, "i want to see that because [big name] is in it!"
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
The discourse in the last post led me to read extensively about the various punk ideologies and I want to take a moment for appreciating the section they decided to mention extensively my favourite band lol
#they always said to be neither left wing nor right wing but to be fair i never understood HOW considering *gestures vaguely at their music*#btw i've always known punk to be quite apolitical except for shock value in the beginning#the clash being more or less the first political band to make it big#but apparently not everyone agrees and i didn't find a definitive answer#personal
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
literally idc what the reason is, if you don't like a certain food, tell me!!! I will offer you something else or you can tell me what you want to eat!!! You deserve to eat what you like to eat!!! I love you!!!!!
#kei's thoughts#like it's one thing if you're refusing to eat At All#i still wouldn't be mad just worried#but i've never understood trying to push someone to eat foods they don't like#nor would it ever be my business why someone doesn't like it#it's okay to have preferences#it's okay to only like a few foods#as long as you are fed it's all okay.
0 notes
Text
𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ TEMPTATIONS, DESIRES, AND IMPULSE.
CHARACTERS: capitano x f!readers
WARNINGS: mdni. arranged marriage. virgin reader. breast fondling. capitano has a big dick. probably ooc capitano. SYNOPSIS: after your recovery, you expected your relationship to change with your husband. however, it changed into something you could only dream of.
WORD COUNT: 2.830 A/N: i haven't written smut in so long so i hope i don't disappoint. this is part two. can be read as a standalone but i highly recommend reading part one.
Months have passed since the initial injury. Improvements have been made in your footing, yet not in your marriage. Capitano had been nothing but helpful during your recovery, but since healing, he's gone back to being distant.
You worried that you had said something wrong or been too demanding in your requests.
Maybe I've asked for an abundance of food or denied his company.
No matter the case, you prayed that things will be smooth sailing from there, but the gods did not answer you.
Capitano sat in his office most days, buried in work from the Tsarista. He never has a moments rest. Recently, he was sent off in Inazuma to aid a comrade whom lost an ancient relic. You have never seen a person's seething attitude fill up a room like his.
During his absents, you devoted your time in maintaining the garden, vigorously cleaning its stones and tending it with care. The garden became a safe haven, a place where you could run off to and soak in its beauty.
And when your husband came back from his travels, he headed straight to his office.
You never understood the allure of his office. Why did he choose it as his refuge instead of the comfort of his chambers? Lacking the courage to step foot into that space, its secrets remained a mystery.
────
Capitano looked out the grand window and viewed the meticulously tended garden. A stir of frustration flickered in him as he realized you have pushed yourself to keep the grounds beautiful, despite recovering.
Even if it had been months since the fall.
Yet, with a pained feeling in his heart, he found himself battling the tides of thoughts. Months have slipped passed-- months spent avoiding your presence, months where he sought refuge to his calloused, rough hands. Still, those vivid images of you lingered in his mind, taunting him.
Capitano considered himself a coward for succumbing to lustful thought of his wife. The flame of carnal desires coursed through his veins, causing it to be exceedingly difficult to maintain and keep his composure whenever he is near your being.
However, we he did find the courage, one look into those bright and pure eyes, his mind betrayed him and he found himself avoiding you once again.
It wasn't until a knock on his office door rang him out of his thoughts.
Never once have you shown a passing interest in Capitano's line of work, nor dared to interrupted him during his paper work. So why was this evening unlike any other?
As Capitano rose from his chair and opened the heavy wooden door, his eyes fell on you holding up a silver tray of dinner you prepared earlier.
Once realizing the time, he undoubtedly missed dinnertime.
Capitano side-stepped to allow you into his office and you took a long look around. It wasn't anything you expected.
Towering bookshelves reaching up to the heavens, a grand window that bathed the room in a soft light from the setting sun, and his desk sitting adjacent to the window, giving his access to view the garden.
You understood why he spent his time in here.
As you deliberated where to put his dinner, you noticed the lack of space on his desk from the overwhelming amount of papers. Noticing your trouble, Capitano silently collected his documents and neatly gathered them to one side to make room for you.
"You need not to trouble yourself with bringing my food here," Capitano eyes gazing upon the meal you have prepared. Not understanding why you went through the lengths, he could not suppress the appreciation sprouting within him.
"It is no problem at all." you replied softly, placing the tray down with care. It took every ounce of power within you to conceal the tremor in your tone, aching to reveal itself.
There you stood, in a delicate light blue nightgown barely reaching below your knees. A picture of a woman prepared for bed. And there, a familiar peak poked through the thin fabric, teasing and taunting Capitano once again.
He swallowed quietly, avoiding your gaze and instead looked down at his food. To him, you looked far more delicious than the meal. Your presence igniting a hunger he could not simply fill.
"Thank you."
In your head, that was your cue to leave, but when Capitano handed a piece of silverware, his unspoken invitation sent a flutter through your stomach.
For the first time, you were having dinner with your husband.
────
The grass felt soft beneath your fingertips. A blanket of feathers could not compare to how the garden comforted you. While you wished you could spend time with your husband here, he was simply too occupied with work.
Again, only a prayer would give you a smidge of hope.
A prayer indeed.
Your eyes grew heavy as the beaming sun hit the peaks of your face. A soft breath exhaled through your lips while your arms outstretched onto the soft ground.
"It is not clean for you to lay on the ground." A deep voice spoke above you.
Opening your eyes to a man whom never showed his face nor allowed himself to be vulnerable before others. There he was, bent down with his hands resting on his knees, your husband, was in the garden. With you.
The scene before you exposed a shock in your core, and in an instant, you shot upright sitting up in a sharp motion.
Noticing your sudden movement, a low chuckle erupted deep within his thick, metal armor.
The sound was an unfamiliar sound in your ears.
"Would you like company?" he asked.
Perhaps the heavens have heard your prayers, waiting until this moment. You have longed nothing more than to spend time with your husband, even if his heart remained distant and shown no affection or serenaded you with tender words.
You quickly nodded, a gentle, but faint, smile stretching your lips, and patted on the space beside you.
Silence hung in the air for a moment before Capitano decided to speak first, his tone laced with genuine curiosity. "You spend most of your time here. Why is that?" he held your gaze.
"I enjoy the sun." you replied. While his eyes remained hidden, you imagined the way they might look, perhaps softening as you answered.
"I cannot help but wonder why, out of all the time we have been married, you choose now to come into the gardens." you felt your body involuntarily moving closer to his. "Are the orders of the Tsaritsa too much to bear?"
Capitano took a moment before replying. "Since I am away most days, and soon will embark on another mission, I suppose I wanted a moment to escape from reality." He took a pregnant pause.
"I want you to be my reprieve from the demands of my work, my anchor." his tone had a humorous tone hidden, though he was being honest. "But before I place such a burden on you, I must get to know my wife."
A laugh escaped between your lips. It was sudden, but not unwanted. "It is strange how we are married but complete strangers."
"Life has other plans." Capitano looked off into the distance, onto the lush horizon. "Ones that betray our dreams."
There was something you've always wondered about your husband. What was underneath that helmet of his? Did he look like a troll? A disfigured man? Or a scarred, damaged face?
"If you don't mind me asking," Capitano's attention turned towards you. "may I know what you look like?" you asked.
Curiosity flickered in your eyes, a look so earnest that Capitano could not refuse. And slowly, he removed his steel helmet, revealing his face.
A soft gasp freed itself from your lips, eyes settling on his face. It was neither mangled nor deformed, but a strikingly beautiful one that was half in black. Could this be the rumors of the decay?
You've heard tales about the brave Capitano's face, but none prepared you for what sights you might see.
As if on command, you hand reached out to touch the void-like black decay that marred his visage. It felt like skin, but didn't all at once. Your eyes soaking in the image of his face, his skin, his eyes. A piercing, bright pale blue color glowing beside the darkness that engulfed him.
Only one word could muster out your lips. "Breathtaking."
Your touch igniting fire within Capitano, coursing through his veins, setting his entire being ablaze. He found himself vulnerable without his helmet, but could not help but lean into your touch for warmth.
A new sensation awoke in Capitano. So foreign, so raw it threated to consume him whole. One that can only be described as love. A feeling so intense it burn holes in his heart.
For the first time, after all this time his gaze stayed hidden, you could finally meet his eyes.
Like an impulse eating him alive, from how your gaze held his, Capitano felt his being leaning towards yours like a magnet, closing the distance, and capturing your lips with him.
You felt your heart beating out of the confines of your chest. The sudden kiss had your mind running laps, but once reality settled in, you could finally relax into the kiss.
His hand reached behind your head and gripped softly onto your hair. Capitano felt his groin on fire, attempting to break free from his trousers.
As the kiss became intense and heavy, he broke the kiss before it went further.
"Tell me when to stop and I'll stop." A string of saliva that connect you broke and you stared into his heavy-lidded eyes.
"Don't stop."
Those two words were enough for Capitano to gather you into his arms and walk into your shared chambers. It was the first time you've truly been in this room together, and in this moment, was the perfect time to break it in.
Your heart pounded more vigorously as he laid you onto the bed, his hands steady yet deliberate. His movements were agonizingly slow, each motion a taunt to tease you as he unbuttoned his shirt. With each button undone, more of his sculpted torso was reveal. An ache began to appear between your legs.
The black decay reached even below his neck, following down inside his trousers.
Capitano's shirt throw carelessly as he lowered back down to you, seizing your lips once again and his hands searching your body. Rough hands that squeezed each part of your body, acting as his anchor, resistance, before grabbing hold of your intimate parts.
What Capitano didn't know, was that you were impatient. Your hand collect his black hair and gripped it tightly, asking for more.
Once receiving your silent request, his hands reached up to your breasts where he felt your harden nipples. Ones whom taunted him were now in his hold.
With his free hand, he lifted your nightgown. There, your bare body was exposed beneath his eyes.
"You are truly," his lips connected of your bare stomach, then reaching up to your neck, until he finally reached your lips. "flawless." his pitch went down a decibel, still holding a sultry tone.
If that didn't cause you to die on the spot, nothing will. Not even a spear through the chest.
Your heart burst into millions of particles and still, you were growing impatient for his touch, needy for him.
While he littered your breast with kisses, a hard object pressed itself against your core, sending volts of electricity through your body. A soft moan escape from your lips.
"You like that?" his voice low and breathing spreading across your body like a wildfire.
You absolutely loved it. You wanted, no, needed more.
Understanding your silent response, he pressed himself harder onto you, causing you to shift in your spot. "Please," you pleaded quietly.
"Please what?"
"Please touch me. Please, Capitano." finding your voice was a difficult task, but you needed the touch only your husband could provide.
Hearing his name from your mouth started the gears in Capitano's head. His cock was begging to be freed. It craved to be sunk into you.
A guttural groan formed within his throat and he wanted nothing more but to please you. His hands fiddled with his pants, fumbling with the button before completely tearing them off his being.
Capitano was known for being a patient man, but it all dissipated within seconds.
When your eyes landed on his cock, his sized terrified you, intimating you. Nowhere in that innocent mind of yours could fathom the thought of his whole length fitting inside you.
"I'm sorry, darling, but I am being impatient." Capitano apologized before he touched you.
You didn't care. You wanted be touched by him and only him.
Before he could fuck you relentlessly, he needed to prepare you. The leather gloves were quickly removed from his hand and his fingers grazed your wet cunt.
You relaxed against his touch, enjoying the delicate movements of his digits. When inserted a finger, your teeth captured your lips. You've never experimented with yourself, not understanding what to do, however, you wish you had.
Euphoria had unleashed and your body reacted with Capitano's fingers.
It wasn't until the second finger stretched you out when you felt the pain course through you. It was a sudden shock that hastily turned into pleasure.
As Capitano deemed you ready, he retrieved his fingers, leaving you empty, but lined his cock straight to you. It started with his tip then he slowly slid in.
He watched the expression on your face, ready to pause when it becomes overwhelming for you. And it was. The foreign object forcing it's way into you caused a rippling feeling, too much for you to handle.
"Is it too much for you, my dear?" his eyes holding so many emotions within them-- worry, lust, and care. Your hands reached up to hold his head.
"I can handle it." you reassured him.
Capitano loved your touch, and without missing a beat, he began moving into you until his length disappear in you, bottoming out. His fantasies being buried in you were no longer dreams. Finally, they were reality.
Sweat coated his forehead as he thrusted slowly, pacing himself to ensure you were comfortable.
Your moans echoed throughout the room, reverberating against the walls and back into Capitano's ears. His appetite was not clenched yet. His pace picked up, his hips moving sloppy.
Warm arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down until his face was buried into the crook of your neck. His moans spread through the hollow of your collar.
The feeling of his cock rubbing every inch of your cunt had you mind in a daze. Your breathing labored, trying to find your breath as he took every ounce of air out your lungs.
"Capi-- Capitano!"
He finally found the sweet spot he'd been searching for. His arm picking your leg up to gain more access within you, picking up the pace until you become a disheveled mess.
Holding a tight grip around his hair, you couldn't allow him to free himself from you.
His nails dug deep into your flesh, anchoring you to stay in place as he pounded harder. "You are the definition of perfection," he spoke into your neck. "One only I can turn into a mess."
Your leg begun to shake from the building release. It was becoming too much. Your body was ready to fully shutdown, but you were too cock-drunk.
Feeling your body, Capitano was damn near to spilling his cum into you, filling you up.
"You're close." he felt it. You were tightening around him, suffocating him. "Come on, darling, let it all out."
Like on command, your body sputtered and shook, releasing all over him. Your breathing was heavy, working overtime to get a full breath of air.
Capitano spilt all in you, filling you to the brim with his cum. He rode out his high, leaving himself in you to watch your face.
Your face was one he could never forget. The image branded itself onto his memory, a scene he refuse to get over.
The sweat coating your face made you glow under the soft light from the window. Capitano noticed a tear running down your face. Not from sadness or pain, but pleasure.
His thumb ran across your cheek to wipe it.
Before he could utter a word, his body collapsed on yours.
You couldn't help but to laugh. It was soft, yet came from the chest. "You are something."
"I hope only good." his arms wrapped around your torso, holding you closer to his body.
"Far better than good." your looked straight into his eyes. "You are remarkable. Something I only see in my dreams."
Capitano smiled before lowering his head back down into your neck.
"You no longer have to dream, my dear. I am now your reality."
do not edit, modify, or republish.
#capitano x reader#capitano#capitano x you#capitano x y/n#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin fanfic#genshin#x reader#fanfic#capitano smut#smut#genshin impact smut
638 notes
·
View notes
Text
Male pillars x reader - bringing them their favourite food.
author's note: due to a comment I've received on an earlier post, i'll not write for Muichiro anymore. i've stated before that i do not write sexual content for minors, nor do i engage in writing romantic relationships including them. everything i've written for him was seen as a platonic relationship between him and the reader. since my statement fell in deaf ears, i've decided to leave him out completely. i do not feel comfortable mentioning him in my posts anymore, my deepest apologies.
request: how would the pillars react to receiving their favourite food from you?
pairing: Tengen x reader, Obanai x reader, Rengoku x reader, Sanemi x reader, Giyuu x reader, Gyomei x reader
Tengen:
you were standing in the kitchen, whistling to yourself. today had been good so you decided to make your husband a little treat.
the market had been rather full, but you walked through the crowd and bought the ingredients you needed for his favourite dish.
seaweed. rice. and already prepared fugu. it had taken quite some time to find it, but you did it nonetheless.
standing in the kitchen, you had already made a plate of fugu sushi. at least that's what you thought. when you turned around to place another piece on the plate, it looked like there was one missing. have you forgotten one?
placing your finished piece on the plate, you turned around to make more. finally, you would be finished-
and another one was gone.
"Tengen! stop stealing the fugu sushi!" you scolded, not surprised when you heard quiet footsteps behind you. he wasn't a shinobi for nothing.
"sorry, darling. you looked so flamboyant, i didn't want to interrupt you!" he answered, wrapping muscular arms around you. a laugh escaped you, feeling him place his chin on the top of your hair.
"have i ever told you that you're the best?" he teased, finally freeing you from his embrace.
"i already know, that's why we're married."
Obanai:
you placed a bowl of tororo konbu right in front of him, telling him that you tried your best. naturally, he thanked you, but he didn't dive in like you would've expected him to do.
"what's wrong?" you asked, wondering if you had messed up the dish. it was your first time making it, perhaps you had missed a step or overcooked something.
"i.. could you maybe..?" Obanai asked, he appeared much more timid than usual. you tried understanding what was wrong.
seeing his finger brush against his mask, you understood, he still felt insecure about his face. you hadn't been in a relationship for long, he probably needed time to get used to this. "of course."
"just know that i would never judge you for what i see." you added, placing a kiss on his temple. truthfully, you were saddened about his request, but you wanted to give him the time he needed.
Obanai, on the other hand, was touched by your words. his meal long forgotten, he stood up, taking your hands in his.
"we should marry."
you looked at him, first shocked, and then you started laughing. perhaps he overreacted just a bit, but who could blame him?
Rengoku:
sweet potatoes. so many sweet potatoes.
when you've told Rengoku you could cook his favourite dish in the near future, he had been incredibely happy about it.
he came back with a load of sweet potatoes the next day, his whole head nearly dissapearing behind the amounts of the root vegetable he had bought.
now, another day later, you put miso soup and sweet potatoes for two on the table, smiling at your enthusiastic husband. he had offered to help you the whole time, which eventually led you to ban him from the kitchen.
he nearly devoured the dish as soon as you were sat on the opposite side of the table. it made you chuckle, seeing him swallow the huge bite he took down.
"umai!"
"you've outdone yourself, i'm glad i brought some sweet potatoes home!" he brightly smiled, earning another laugh from you. some sweet potatoes?
"Kyojuro, you brought a ton of them home." you countered, pointing at the rest of the potatoes you've put on the counter for now. "that will probably be enough for a month worth of miso soup with sweet potatoes!"
"sounds good, don't you think?"
Sanemi:
Sanemi plopped down on the engawa, letting out a heavy sigh. training had been rather hard, but he needed to stay fit. nevertheless, his muscles ached and he could really take a break.
he debated over going inside, he trained enough. a shower wouldn't hurt, he was sweating, dampened hair was sticking to his forehead. the man sighed, standing up to finally move inside.
however, when he saw you standing right behind him, he froze. you were looking up at him with wide eyes, as if you tried surpising him. he looked down at your hands - you were holding something - only now realizing that he had been right. you did try to surpise him.
he looked at the plate in your hands, it was filled with ohagi. his favourite food. his eyes moved back to your face, watching you tilt your head.
"it's for you." you told him, tilting your head to the side. "let's go inside, you've trained enough." you smiled, nodding towards the door. he nodded, following you into the kitchen. you placed the ohagi down on the counter, watching him slowly take one.
"you didn't have to." he said, already having bitten into the one in his hand. you chuckled at his words, he had nearly eaten the ohagi with one bite, yet he claimed he didn't need any.
"i needed a reason to get you away from training." you admitted, a sly smile on your face. but both of you knew he would've listened to you no matter what.
"i would've stopped anyways." he answered, placing the ohagi he had picked up to the side. he came closer, watching your eyebrows furrow in confusion.
"what? why?" you asked, not questioning why he came closer. in a matter of seconds, you were in his arms, your eyes squeezing shut in disbelief.
"i wanted to shower." he smirked, basically squishing his sweaty body against yours. you let out a whine, trying to free yourself from his hug, but only managing to do so when he let go.
"great, now i can shower too!" you scolded, seeing him laugh to himself. he walked towards the bathroom, seemingly wanting to wash himself.
"let's eat the ohagi after you're finished."
Giyuu:
Giyuu didn't know what he had expected when he came home today, but he certainly didn't think it would be the smell of freshly cooked food.
no, scrap that. he was often greeted by the nice smell of a promising meal. this was different. it wasn't just any meal.
"welcome home, Giyuu." you greeted, watching him step into the kitchen. you looked content, already knowing that you would make him happy.
"are you hungry? i prepared something for you." you smiled, seeing him nod slowly. when you moved away from the table, his gaze wandered towards the bowls full of food.
your gaze was fixed on him, wanting to catch his reaction. he wasn't the type to voice his happiness, but you certainly caught the way he looked at the salmon daikon you made.
the lightest twitch of his eyebrows and the way his eyes narrowed showed his interest. he stared at the food for a moment, the quiet grumble of his stomach revealing how hungry he truly was.
but he didn't immediately start eating. instead he looked back at you, his gaze softening.
"i've got you this" he muttered, extending his hand towards you. you stared in awe, a small bag of your favourite sweets being placed in your hands.
"let's eat them for dessert, Giyuu."
Gyomei:
when you brought home the ingredients for takikomi gohan. you have wanted to surprise Gyomei with his favourite dish.
you stood in the kitchen, cutting the vegetables into small pieces, as you hummed to yourself. Gyomei should've been home in an hour, at least that's what you've thought.
"i'm home." you heard his deep voice call from the hallway. your head snapped up, looking at the ingredients and then towards the door. you wouldn't have enough time to put everything away. before you even had the chance to react, he already came through the door.
"..are those?" he stopped in the doorway, his head turning towards you. you knew he was blind, but his ability to detect your exact location surpised you ever so often.
the smell of his favourite food hung in the air, almost as if the world had wanted to ruin your surprise.
"i wanted to surprise you." you admitted, lowering your head. you knew he wouldn't be disappointed, but you've planned this since last week. he must've sensed your sadness, walking towards you and putting his hand over yours.
"i can help you, let's cook together." he offered, carefully taking the knife out of your hand. truthfully, you nearly objected, not wanting him to hurt himself, however, you nearly chuckled thinking of the large weapon he was wielding.
"let's call it a cooking date then." you smiled, opening the drawer to get a second knife.
#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#kny x reader#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#demon slayer#demon slayer x reader#tengen uzui#tengen x reader#obanai iguro#obanai x reader#rengoku kyojuro#rengoku x reader#sanemi shinazugawa#sanemi x reader#giyuu tomioka#giyuu x reader#gyomei himejima#gyomei x reader
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Ocean (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)
------------------
Author Masterlist
------------------
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.
Summary: Spencer has shut you out for months, and you don’t know how to get to him. A new argument endures, and you think this might be your last chance to make him understand how deep your love for him is.
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings: Angst/hurt/comfort. Spencer doesn't want to see reasons. Reader and Spencer cry. Mention to Spencer’s time in Milburn.
A/N: It’s just another self-indulgent fic to tell our boy how great he is.
---------------
"Are you going to say something?"
Your voice is clipped, and you feel a whole storm bubbling inside of you. Spencer's silence doesn't help to ease your desperation—a last call for some hope in your already damaged relationship.
As he sits on the couch, his eyes are lost in the window of your shared apartment, tranced by the distant bustling of the streets below. It seems everything is better than looking at you right now.
‘How can someone stand so damn close
And feel like they're a world away?
I can see your sad story eyes
So how do you have no words to say?’
“Please, say something. Anything."
Your insistence sharply contrasts with the demanding tone with which you initiated this conversation—or fight, as Spencer accused you earlier.
Still standing in front of him, you only want him to look at you, to see in his eyes what he really wants.
“Do you want me to leave? That's it?”
You don't know what else to do or say. After bickering for a solid forty-five minutes, Spencer decided he didn't want to respond to your questions/accusations anymore. Coincidence? Hell no. He went silent just after you touched a nerve mentioning the tabu, the only thing Spencer decided must remain unspoken: the three months he was locked in Milbum.
You understood his reluctance at first. Of course you did. Putting in words the nightmare of his days there can’t be easy for anyone, and to Spencer, you bet your ass it was tougher. To lose control, to engage in a world he only knew from afar. Exposed. Vulnerable.
You understood why he didn't want you to visit him there. His pride and self were wounded. However, you would never resent him for it. You said it to him but respected his wishes so as not to put more pressure on his shoulders.
It didn't hurt less, but you were willing to take it.
Weeks followed, and the only news you had about your boyfriend were the messages and phone calls from his coworker, Penelope, and his boss, Emily.
The day he was released must have been the most chaotic you had in your life. And for Spencer, sure, it was worse: His mom was kidnapped by another psychopath, threatening her life.
As Spencer hugged Diana at the BAU, you stayed back, looking from afar, not wanting to disturb such an important moment.
Penelope hugged him after, and then JJ and Tara. The whole team welcomed him before you had the chance to.
When your time came, your eyes locked for the first time in months, and you knew. That man wasn’t the same Spencer you saw the night before he went to Mexico. And you were far from expecting he was, but something felt different with you compared to the reaction he had with the rest of the people there.
Not saying a word, Spencer enveloped you in a tight embrace. Hiding his face in the crook of your neck, he couldn't articulate anything to say. You were the one who reassured him, mumbling encouraging words.
‘Everything is going to be okay. You’re safe now.’
And you believed every word, even knowing the road would be hard. Knowing there would be bad days and not-so-bad ones. But you were determined to make it work because you loved Spencer, and he didn't deserve less from you.
All I want is to fall in deeper than I've ever been
Why won't you let me?
I can handle your heart, so help me.
But Spencer didn't open up to you the next day, nor the week that followed, or the month after. You were patient. You didn't take personally the prolonged silences, the avoidance, the eagerness he showed to go back to work.
At some point, you start to wonder what you have been doing wrong because there is definitely something wrong.
Waiting for him to confide you was the only thing you decided to do. He would come to you eventually. Instead of pushing him, you offered your solace and a safe space for him to be peaceful.
But after three months, things didn't get better; they were quite the opposite. Spencer frequently showed signs of irritability at home and started to snap at almost anything.
And that's when the arguments started. You were getting exhausted by his behavior and the null display of trust from him.
Today has been no different. After coming back from a case, Spencer barely acknowledged your presence, opting for lounging on the couch, too invested in a book to tell you he almost got hurt in the field, and you find it out from Penelope calling you to know how he was doing.
“Spencer-”
“You can leave if you want,” he mumbles, not making eye contact.
“That's not what I asked. I asked if you want me to leave.”
There is a lump in your throat, but it doesn't stop you from voicing your thoughts.
“And for once, be honest with me. Do you want to be alone? Do you want to sulk yourself for God knows how much time?”
There is a brief silence where you think Spencer is truly contemplating his response.
“Yes.”
He says it without looking at you, but his voice is firm enough for you to wonder if he’s lying or not. It hurts. But it hurts you more because he’s hurting and not for the pain he’s inflicting you with his words - or lack of.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
You get his attention this time. He wasn’t expecting you to ask him that.
“Why do you want to be alone?”
You can’t understand why he’s so determined to shut you out. Or maybe you do, but you’re not ready to accept it. Not when you love him more than anything in this world. Not when you are sure your love must count to something for him. Yeah, maybe you can’t ‘fix him,’ but you’re sure as hell you can help him to heal.
Spencer huffs in frustration. What can he say? The truth? It's too simple and yet too complicated to voice.
“I realized it’s better that way. There is no reason for you to stay.”
Is he turning his motives into altruistic ones? It's like he doesn't know you at all.
“There isn’t? You are not reason enough for me to stay?”
Spencer stands from his spot, running his hands through his hair.
“You don't get it? Do you?! Do you want me to throw the words on your face? Uh? I thought you were smart enough to realize by now I can’t love you anymore!”
It's the first time he has yelled that way to you in months. Years, maybe? All the last arguments you both had recently were more like ‘snappy-sassy Spencer’ and a ‘sassier you.’
He just said, ‘I can’t love you anymore,’ and not ‘I don’t love you anymore.’ You don’t miss the wording, and you’re praying right now not to be reading this wrong.
Maybe this is the crack you were waiting for to get to him. Carefully, you look at Spencer, waiting for him to continue, but he doesn't.
“Okay,” you mumble, sitting again on the couch, your feet planted on the floor and hands on your knees. Spencer raises an eyebrow, confused by your posture and response.
“Okay?”
You nod. “Yeah. Okay. You can’t love me anymore. I accept it. And I’m not happy with that, but okay. I can’t obligate you to feel in a certain way if you don’t.”
“But you should be hating me,” he refutes. “I failed you, and now I’m ending things.”
You take in his words. Spencer assumes he’s the one to hate, and even if you want to, you know you can’t.
With pursed lips and soft eyes, you gesture to the spot beside you on the couch, inviting him to sit. Spencer understands and, after a second of contemplation, slowly moves to sit there, curious about what you are thinking right now.
“Can I tell you something?” you start. “It's humanly impossible for me to hate you. And yeah, maybe I should, but I can’t. Maybe you can’t love me, and thank you for doing it at some point, by the way. But it doesn't mean I’ll stop caring about you. It doesn't mean I don't want to see you happy because, despite all the awful things you think about yourself, oh, flash news, you deserve to be happy.”
“Don’t-” he wants to refute, as always he does, but you have to make a point.
“Spence, please, let me say it.” Spencer stops and concedes at your request, even if he thinks it useless and that you shouldn’t put that effort into him.
“I know you think you disappointed people for what happened. You haven’t told me that much, but I know. And I can understand you are scared and that maybe I’m not the one you want to confide in. I respect it, really. But please, if at least a fraction of what I think matters to you, believe me, I have never doubted whatever you did in there; you did it to survive. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing.”
It's a hard pill to swallow for Spencer. He never wanted to tell you what really happened when he was in jail. Granted, you are not a profiler, but you know him enough to see through him.
Here you are, next to me
So much beauty at my feet
All I wanna do is swim, but the waves keep crashin' in
No, I'm not afraid to drown
Take me out, take me down
I'm so tired of the shore
Let me in, baby
You're an ocean, beautiful and blue
I wanna swim in you
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. And I’ll leave if it's what you think I should do, but not before telling you how I see you. God, Spencer. You have no idea how great a human being you are. You always prefer to sell yourself short instead, but I know you. If the time we have known each other taught me something, it's how compassionate, understanding, and loving you are. Believe me when I tell you that to love you has been the best thing I have done in my life. And I would do anything for you, even if that means walking away from you.”
You don't know when the tears started to fall, but now you can feel them running down your cheeks and landing in your hands resting on your lap.
Spencer’s glassy eyes tell you he has heard everything you said, and you hope he believes you. At least you have tried pouring your heart into words. It isn’t easy for you to do. That’s something you have in common with Spencer. Your love language is acts of service more than words of affirmation, but you know this time, you need the words.
A tear makes his journey from Spencer’s eyes down his jaw. But he can’t say anything. He thinks if he says something, everything in him will crumble.
You wait, not so sure what, but wait. As Spencer keeps his silence, you think you have nothing more to do, so you break eye contact.
“Okay. That's what I needed to say. I guess that’s it.”
A shaky breath anticipates you getting up from the couch. You stroll to the bedroom to grab your go-bag.
Approaching the door and grabbing your keys from the bowl, you bit your lower lip because you don’t want to cry in front of him anymore.
Like a lighthouse, I've been shinin' bright
Through the dark for both of us
And I've done it outta love is not enough
But God, how I wish it was
And I don't wanna find out
How much lonely I can take before you lose me
Baby, look at me and swear you won't lose me
Determined to leave, you open the door, and before you cross the threshold, a heartbreaking sob paralyzes you in place. Then, a wail and Spencer's broken voice.
“Please, don’t leave!”
It is heartbreaking and comes to you like a prayer from the depths of his being. You stop in your tracks but refuse to look back at him.
“I know I don't deserve you, but please, I can’t - I can’t lose you.”
Wiping away his tears, Spencer gets up from the couch and quickly reaches the door. You still have the bag in one hand and the keys in the other, with your back to him.
“I love you more than you can imagine, and I was determined to let you go. I thought I had hurt you enough.”
“Did you were setting me free? From you?” you mumble, still not wanting to turn around, tears blurring your sight. Spencer sniffles.
“I thought it was the right thing to do. Why drag you to my shit once more? Fuck, you always have been there for me, and it is so unfair. How did I repay you?”
“Repay me?” You let the bag fall with a thud. This time, turning to face Spencer. “Do you think this is about repaying? Jesus, Spencer. I never had ask you that.”
“I know. I know,” he rushes to say. “But I feel like I’m not good enough. An ex-junk. An ex-convict. And a lot of baggage to carry.”
Your fingers fidget with the keys as you hear Spencer beating himself.
“Nothing of that has changed the way I see you. I’m not saying you have to be the same, nor do you have to keep still about it. I love you with all the scars you have and the ones that will come. And I want to help. You don't have to do this alone.”
“It's a lot. I don't even know where to start,” Spencer’s voice croaks, shoulders slumping in defeat.
“We can figure it out. Together. It won’t be easy, but I promise it will get better.”
Your soft eyes and hopeful words warm Spencer’s heart. He can’t conceive you are even real. He can’t fathom how you are still here in front of him after all. He can only conclude that your love is big enough to hold you two at this moment when his weakness consumes him.
Still sobbing, Spencer rushes to envelope you in a tight embrace. But unlike the hug you shared in the bullpen when he was released months ago, this time, he's the one telling you reassuring words.
“I love you. I couldn’t be more grateful for having you. I promise I’ll heal. I promise not to shut you out again. My love, my everything.”
As you cry with Spencer enveloped in his arms, your heart feels hopeful that you both will find a way to get through this. Together.
---------------
Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers
#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#dr. spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x you#spencer reid angt#aperrywilliams#ocean
614 notes
·
View notes
Text
i saw this post on and got inspired. enjoy!
part two
"It was nice running into you."
"Yeah, yeah, you too. It was—I'm glad we could catch up."
You held your bag in both of your hands and leaned back on your heels, waiting for the sudden tension to cease. Harry scratched his neck awkwardly while you looked down at the cobbled streets beneath your shoes. When a minute passed and neither of you said anything, when two couples excised themselves to walk past you, you finally decided to break the silence.
"I'm headed this way."
"Me too. We can walk together?"
"O—Okay."
Harry extended his arm out, a clear message for you to go first, so you did. For a split second, his hand grazed your lower back in that protective gesture he always used to use when you walked anywhere. But that had been when you were together, and now you weren't, and even though his hand merely hovered awkwardly behind you, you swore you could still feel it.
"Your hair looks nice. I don't think I've ever seen it so short before," you said, needing to break the silence all over again before it consumed you.
"Thanks, I, uh, I shaved it a few months back. It's finally starting to grow in."
It must've been soon after your break up, you realized, quickly doing the math in your head. A change, a fresh start after the end of a long relationship. You understood that, knew neither of you needed to comment on it, or the fact that you no longer wore the necklace Harry bought you for your first anniversary, though you'd seen him glance down at the missing piece of jewelry multiple times since you ran into each other.
"It's cute," you said, resisting the intrusive urge to reach up and touch his hair, instead clasping your hands behind your back.
"Are you across the bridge?" Harry asked, gesturing to one of the many bridges that stretched across the Tiber.
"Yeah. How'd you know?"
Harry shrugged, the canvas bag on his shoulder slipping a fraction. "You always liked Trastevere."
You smiled, charmed by how Harry still seemed to know you so intrinsically. "And you? Are you staying in Prati?"
Harry shook his head before waving to a fan who had spotted him. He didn't stop, though, and kept walking beside you, asking about your family, specifically your grandmother, who was his Scrabble partner nearly the entirety of your relationship.
"Good. I play Scrabble with her on the weekends now. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm not a good enough opponent, but she'll never say it to my face."
"Graceful as always, your nan," Harry nodded in agreement. "Probably wouldn't say the same thing about chess, though."
"No, probably not. Do you still play?" you asked, tilting your head up to look at him.
He was so close, close enough that the sleeve of his green shirt grazed your bare arm. Close enough that if you really wanted it to the back of your hand could graze his. Instead you shifted your hand away.
"When I can," Harry said, his mouth twitching as if recalling a memory. "I've been focusing on writing most days, but I play whenever I'm stuck."
"How's that going?"
"How's work?"
"Sorry, go ahead," you said, blushing a little. Would it always be this awkward around him? You hoped not. Harry had been a friend first, and even though you knew you shouldn't,y you missed his companionship some nights. Lots of nights. Most nights.
"No, you go. Catch me up on all the latest drama at work."
So you did, falling back into familiar, neutral territory as you brought Harry up to speed on your co-workers.
Before long, you'd made it to the apartment you were renting, your palms suddenly warm as you searched your purse for your keys. You were stalling, you both knew it, but Harry didn't comment, nor did he leave, didn't offer any reason to finally say goodbye.
You knew this was where it was supposed to end. That a chance encounter with your ex in a foreign country really shouldn't have gone on this long. You knew that, and yet...
"Do you want to come in?" you asked, scrambling for any logical reason as to why Harry should follow you into your apartment. "I—I, uh, I could make us coffee and—"
"Please. I mean—Sure. That would be...that would be fine."
Relief flooded through you, though that was quickly replaced by a guilty sort of anticipation as you unlocked the door to the main building of the apartment, as Harry followed you up a couple flights of stairs, as he waited once again for you to unlock a door. When you were inside, when you set your things down on the small dining table, you turned to face your ex.
Harry's gaze was once again lowered to your collarbones, to the place where the necklace he gave you used to sit. Then he met your eyes, the expression in them clear. It was the first time you'd seen them since running into him today. He'd kept his sunglasses on the whole time, perhaps to hide his expressions more, because now that you properly met his gaze, you saw it all. Those green eyes you still loved so much betrayed his every thought, and you knew yours probably did as well.
It was hard to say who moved first. If you grabbed the front of Harry's shirt before he wrapped an arm around your waist and fisted your hair in his other hand. But none of it mattered when your mouth met his, when your hands traveled up to cup the sides of his face, your thumbs tracing the familiar planes of his face.
A graze of his teeth against your bottom lip had you gasping, had him smiling as if that was the exact reaction he'd been hoping for. You responded in kind by dragging your nails down his scalp, satisfied by the groan that vibrated against your mouth as his tongue caressed yours.
"This isn't—It's not—" you tried to say, losing focus as Harry left a trail of kisses from your jaw to the base of your neck and back up again. "This doesn't mean—"
"I know," Harry breathed, his forehead pressed against yours as he toyed with the bow that held the front of your blouse together. Your breath hitched as his knuckle grazed your exposed stomach. "This doesn't change anything. Now take this off."
You almost made him do it just because he ordered you to, but you knew why he wanted you to be the one to untie the knot of your blouse. It meant you were saying yes to this moment, it meant you were saying yes to doing whatever it was you were about to do.
So you pulled at the blouse until it came undone, leaving it open so it revealed a strip of bare skin going right up the middle of your body. The rest you would leave up to him.
Harry shrugged out of his own sweater and t-shirt before reaching out to push back the shoulders of your shirt until it was off completely, falling into a puddle of fabric at your feet beside his. His gaze alone was too much and not enough, more explicit than it had any right to be. He stood there and drank you in for a full minute as if in a daze, taking in every mark and imperfect like he was reacquainting himself.
It was hard to get the words out, but you managed. "Still broken up?"
"Yeah," Harry said, his eyes still roving over every inch of your body that he could see. Then he blinked as if remembering the situation for what it was. "Yeah, still broken up."
There wasn't much left to say after that, really.
#harry styles#harry styles blurb#harry styles x reader#harry styles fanfic#harry styles oneshot#ex boyfriendrry#harry styles imagine#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x you#harry styles fluff#harry styles writing#harry styles one shot#harry styles fic#ex boyfriend!harry
840 notes
·
View notes
Text
YOUR? OUR MARGARET
PAIRING: Leon Kennedy x Single mom!reader
SUMMARY: Life slowed down when Leon first saw those tiny rays of sunlight. But he didn't think he would fall in love with the whole sun. Or: Leon falls in love with a single mother.
WARNINGS: Brief mentions of alcohol, government, leon's traumas, love confessions, Leon is a bit insecure and awkward but he's also a sweetheart and has a soft spot for kids, cheesy and corny type of love, this is just fluff believe me!
WORD COUNT: 4.5k
AUTHOR'S NOTE: If I had a nickel for every time I've written about Leon's transition from vendetta to death island I would have two which it isn't a lot but it's funny it happened twice. If you wish to know what song Leon played this is the one I had in mind. As always, I hope you like it. This is my Valentine's Day fic for today!
MY MASTERLIST
Gruesome scenarios and depressive states of mind have tainted Leon's path in life. However, the grizzled and gloomy agent has had a rather rough patch this last year in which he was left alone to die in his own sorrow—Raccoon City, Spain, China and his already-known addiction took a toll on him.
He doesn't have anyone to blame, nor does he want to. Yeah, he could blame the government for stripping him of his innocence and his genuine wish to help people but he felt like he had failed his nation, not the DSO, not the FBI, just him.
Behind closed doors, in the white house and for everyone else he's Agent Leon Kennedy, Mr. Kennedy, and if someone were to ask the president he'd say he's the most trusted weapon the country has.
He has grown accustomed. His shield has hardened to the point he's numb to most things he should find disturbing or annoying yet he couldn’t help but wish someone would see him the way he really is.
A bittersweet feeling grew in Leon’s system. Alcohol no longer brought the same dull sensation that’d put him to sleep even in the loudest and sleazy bar. So, slowly he grew out of his addiction. Not alone, though. Alongside him were a couple of therapists which he reluctantly confided in. Not because he didn’t believe in mental health, but because he thought it wasn’t for him.
Also, his friends made his life a bit better. Spare the man the embarrassment, but friendship does indeed make you see the world more colorfully. It was nice hearing his name slip out of his friends' lips. Leon, Leon! Aww, Leon.
However, life didn’t prepare him for the moment his name was replaced by a:
Dada.
Therapists had told him he should look for a hobby, something that’d fill those moments where boredom or monotony would push him to fall back into his deadly addictions. And he completely understood, he ought to follow the experts’ advice in order to actually improve.
It was rather easier, he was not a complicated man.
Even before the Raccoon City incident, he loved exercising. Whether it was lifting weights, cycling, or plain running he’d always be found doing something. The mere thought of just lying in bed was something he’d never engage in, especially not now that he’s getting better.
So, he combined two things. One he was familiar with and a second one he hasn’t been able to really connect with: nature.
Near his current apartment, there was a small park in which he goes jogging. Usually, his schedule would only allow him to go there in the early hours of the morning where the only people he’d find were retired grandparents who danced to some Spanish music he couldn’t understand.
Peaceful, he liked it.
But when he was getting used to his daily morning jogging, a call from work told him they needed him ASAP. So, his little detoxicating activity would be postponed to the afternoon.
After dealing with the usual stress from work, calls from Hunnigan, and a rather bothersome headache, he got to his apartment and decided to get ready and not skip his so-needed jogging.
The afternoon sky was painted with a hue of blue mixing with the slightest orange color, the gentle breeze hitting Leon’s face as he jogged around the park. His tempo never missed a beat not even after an hour or so between his physical training and some pauses. Sweat fell from his forehead and onto the ground with each step he took, meaning that he was reaching exhaustion.
At last, he found solace under a tree that cast a shadow, perfect for Leon to catch his breath. Closing his eyes, he let his lungs inhale as much air as they could.
His peaceful moment was broken when a tiny voice called out for him. Or rather, mistaken him for someone else.
“Dada!” A little girl came walking to where he was seated, wobbly steps trying to reach him.
“Margaret!” You appeared out of nowhere before the toddler could reach and hug the stranger. The giggling and excited kid seemed to have heard “run faster” by the way she didn’t stop at your call.
A hint of confusion washed over Leon as he watched the scene develop with rather curious eyes. A mop of curly hair running away from your grasp. The white dress turned into a slightly brown color, Leon guessed the child must have been playing in the dirt.
And then a glimpse of a faint smile replaced his previous bewilderment as his eyes fell on you. As you tried catching your daughter, he observed her antics and your patience.
Finally, your hands lifted the little one as her tiny legs kicked in the air, ready to run in the air.
You fixed Margaret’s dress and messy hair while her bright eyes continued being focused on the man sitting on the grass. Her hands doing the typical “grabby” motion to Leon. Sighing in defeat, you spoke to the man.
“Sorry, don’t know what happened.” You sheepishly said as you offered the man an apology for your daughter’s previous mischievous actions. “She usually doesn’t call random people dada I assure you.”
“She gave me quite the scare.” Leon chuckled as he got up from the grass. “My past actions flashed before my eyes.”
“As I said, I’m sorry.” You repeated your words while your daughter tried wriggling her way out of your arms. When she saw that her mother’s grip wasn’t budging, she took matters into her own hands.
She started crying.
You weren’t letting your daughter play with a stranger, that much you knew.
“My name’s Leon, by the way.” Leon said, extending his arm, but he pulled back as soon as he saw that you were too busy handling the tantrum your daughter was having.
You told Leon your name which easily fell from his lips to confirm he heard you well. “Do you normally come here?” You asked.
“Yes, but just in the mornings.” He responded, watching the little one pouting. “Something came out today so duty called. Cops don’t rest.”
“Wait, Are you a cop?” You seemed to relax at the revelation and he couldn’t help but get a Deja Vu from this little interaction. A friend of his asked him the same question, but at least now he wasn’t surrounded by zombies.
“A cop…” A whisper came out from Leon’s lips, a playful yet gentle smile formed on his face. “Kinda.”
“I’ll assume you’re way more important than that.” You adjusted Margaret in your arms when she finally calmed. Although she kept on staring at Leon, her bright eyes focused on him. “Because if you were indeed a cop or a chief you’d be puffing your chest out.”
“Are they always like that?” He acted surprised.
“Here, in New York? I don’t know… you tell me.”
It’s been a while since he last spoke with someone this freely. Surely he has talked with his friends a lot. But they were people he had previously known and shared the same past as him, a connection to the outside world seemed impossible and even greedy in a way.
Soon, both of you found yourselves unable to stop talking, even Margaret chirped from time to time, making her opinion loud and clear. He got to know a bit about you, and you got to know little fragments of his life. The ones who wouldn’t lead him to share more than necessary, obviously.
Despite the rough exterior, his constant frowning stopped as a soft expression replaced it. Margaret's chubby hands absentmindedly held one of Leon’s fingers as he spoke with you, blabbering and being overjoyed by his presence.
However, her cheerful mood slowly turned sour as soon as she got hungry. Glassy eyes and sobs warned you that the conversation would come to an end.
“Yup, I gotta go.” You murmured trying not to bring more stress to your already distressed baby. “It was nice talking to you.”
“Likewise.” Leon kept his hands in his pockets, unable to come up with anything else. He wanted to say that perhaps they could repeat this. But then again, he’s been so deprived of normal social interactions that he no longer knows if that would sound creepy.
“Have a good night.” He decided it would be the wisest thing to do. He watched your soft expression as you took your little girl’s hand and waved goodbye.
Ever since that little interaction, his schedule changed. His morning routine was long forgotten. An excuse was made, something between the lines that his shift changed so he has to work in the mornings.
And he was delighted to spend time with both of you. The highlights of his whole day would be getting to hear about you and Margaret.
Each day that passed meant new memories being made. From the way he got to know Margaret’s favorite ice cream flavor to your childhood dreams. Every detail mattered for him because he could now see how simple life could be.
He took—both of you mostly— on little dates. Let it be to try a new cafeteria near the park, drinking an americano while Margaret drank from her sippy cut which was filled with chocolate milk.
However, there were times in which Margaret would stay with a friend of yours. Allowing you to be alone with Leon. And while he appreciates the joy and happiness your daughter brought, he also loved the moments in which he could focus just on you.
Sadly, years of training didn’t prepare him to man up and make the first move. When he thought he would brush away every insecurity and second guesses, something would come up.
He wanted to grab your hand, the waiter would come at the worst time. He wants to compliment you, he'd almost choke with his own saliva. He wanted to give you a goodbye kiss after driving you home, someone would call him.
It was as if the universe was against him.
Thankfully, you had picked up those hints. And if Leon wasn't the luckiest man out there, you can help him in his predicament.
On a usual afternoon, as Margaret played with the leaves that had fallen from the trees, you shot him a question.
“Would you like to have dinner with me?”
“Huh? Yes, it sounds nice.” Leon absentmindedly replied, thinking it would be like the rest of your dates.
“I mean… In my house. I don't think I've invited you yet.”
In the meantime, Margaret had grabbed some leaves which she placed on Leon's hair. The man didn't even react to it, already used to her antics.
“I wouldn't like to intrude.”
“You wouldn't. See it as a friendly meeting.”
Friendly meeting, of course. He couldn’t be so selfish.
“If you insist.” He says as the little one giggles, her smile just showing two teeth. “When would it be?”
“Are you free this 14th?”
He nods, he doesn't even remember if he's in fact free. But he'd make time.
Besides, who works on Valentine’s Day?
⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹
He wishes he would've realized about the implications of the day sooner.
The other dates have been nothing but platonic. Of course he had been nervous, biting his nails to the point where had to put on clear nail polish.
But this one is for Valentine's Day. Day where people confess their love in dramatic ways. Some lucky people even propose on this date.
Leon has been out of the dating game for years. He believes he'll mess it up somehow, especially as he sees the reflection of himself in the mirror.
Of course, he knows he's getting better. But his appearance tells everyone otherwise. His hair continues being dark, a big contrast from his past self whose blond hair would be the talk of some people.
The palm of his hand brushes over his stubble cheek. The sensation of those tiny hairs is similar to blades. He looks at his watch, there is no time to shave. The last thing he wanted was to be late on his first date.
He sighs and walks toward the table, on top of it are two bouquets. One has multiple red and pink roses, that one is for you. The other one consists of a single white rose, for Margaret. Even if he has forgotten the basics of dating, he wouldn’t go empty-handed to your home.
The drive to your house isn’t an easy one. Not because he lacked driving skills, he is pretty much proud of how well he could drive when he is not facing life-or-death situations.
He takes his car, just for today. He knows he has to be himself and show you his love for bikes. But he would be lying if he wasn’t a tad scared about coming to your house driving his usual motorbike. What would you think? Surely you’d dump him for risking his life or something like that.
But he is so damned anxious. He turns on the radio, trying to muffle his thoughts but the first thing that comes up is a Valentine's Day advertisement. ‘Don’t mess up your date today! Try our newest product and—’ He’s trying, he doesn’t know what the ad is talking about but he needs no product for this date to be a success.
He turns off the stupid machine. After all, today’s music sucks. Nothing personal, he just doesn’t like it. He’d prefer if the radio played real music. Some Deftones and Korn would do.
But right now he’d dance to anything. Valentine’s Day, after all, should be a romantic getaway from the normalcy of life. Even though years had made him a corny individual, if it’s with you, romanticism should never die.
He’s rambling, his head is a mess. He sees himself slow dancing with you, Somethin’ Stupid playing in the background. He foresees a future in which he could paint next to your daughter, suns and trees never looked so pretty as he imagines that scenario.
Dating you would come with the whole pack, he knows well. But even at his age, he still feels like a broken child whenever he sees himself in the mirror. Memories of his innocence being stripped away of him and his present still clinging on to the faint threads of hope.
So that’s why he made the promise of taking this relationship seriously. No matter if you end up being nothing more than friends. People often say that you just know when you meet the one. And he saw the beacons of lights announcing the whole sun when he met you and your little one.
Eventually, he reaches your home. Double-checking the address you had previously sent him over text, he confirms this is the place you live in. A modest house, enough for you and Margaret.
He switches off the engine and takes out the key from the ignition. Placing his hands one last time on the steering wheel, he takes a deep breath, mentally preparing himself. And with a newfound conviction, he grabs the two bouquets and gets out of the car.
When he walks towards the door, he immediately knocks. If he dared to wait just a second just to calm his anxiety, he’d spend at least 5 minutes staring at the wooden material. So, he sacrifices that priceless time in order to face reality.
A ‘coming’ is heard by Leon a few seconds after he knocks. Eventually, the front door opens and you welcome him with Margaret in your arms. “Hey.” You greet him, Margaret doing the same as she waves her hand.
“Hey, you two.” Leon says with a warm smile, trying to hold back the fact that there hasn’t been a better image than this. “I couldn’t come empty-handed to your house so I took the liberty to bring you these.”
Leon then hands you the bouquets he had brought—the bigger one for you, and the smaller one with a single rose for Margaret.
“Are these for me?” A dumb question, of course. But there’s no harm to ask and surely it would get a nice reply from Leon who has been dancing around the idea of flirting with you. Too scared to come off as awkward and silly.
“I don’t see another pretty woman around here.” It slips so smoothly out of his lips. Leon Kennedy, you still got it, he mentally praises himself.
“Yeah, right.” You roll your eyes, satisfied with the answer you received. “Please, come in.”
Leon nods and enters your house. The living room was nicely organized, and the way some toys blended in with the decoration brought a smile to his face. The perfect balance between the sober expected room with the colorful and childish playthings.
You set Margaret on the floor not before giving her the rose Leon gifted her. She absentmindedly walks toward the couch and sits down to inspect what an amazing thing the funny man brought.
“Well, looks like she likes them.” Leon hums as he watches how Margaret starts happily tearing the flower into tiny pieces. Her antics filling Leon’s heart, he could get used to this feeling.
He wants to.
“Yup, definitely.” And your eyes meet Leon’s, his piercing blue eyes are not cold as he often thinks. They remind you of the beach sea, of the gentle waves and the gentleness they carry.
And he sees himself in yours. In your eyes, he isn’t a cold and depressed agent who is fighting off the odds. He admires the man he’s becoming. The man who despite everything he has experienced, wants to do better.
“I haven’t told you yet but…” Leon trails off as he gathers the courage to do this simple yet nerve-wracking action. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
He grabs your hand and brings it to his lips. Without breaking eye contact, he kisses your knuckles. A gentleman through and through. If he could win your heart, he’d do anything to protect both of you.
Although he was lying, even if he weren’t to win you over, you have already gained a friend who would literally save the world for you to live in with your most beautiful miracle.
“You’re sappy.” You shake your head laughing, but you don’t push Leon away. In a way, your teasing comes off as a thank you.
“And you break my heart.” He chuckles, letting go of your hand which falls to your side.
As it does, your eyes fall on Margaret. While she continues playing with torn pieces of the flower, you see her head swaying slowly from side to side, as if fighting off sleep.
“It’s nap time for little Margaret.” You break the silence as you walk toward Margaret whose tiny fingers still try to tear up the already destroyed rose.
You pick up Margaret and with the way she isn't getting fuzzy, your assumption was correct. She is fighting against Morpheus, sadly losing.
You glance at Leon who is standing in the same place you left him. Admiring the scene of you carrying your daughter.
“Would you like to help me?” You murmur.
Of course he does, he wants nothing more but to embark on this new life. He has seen so much horror and for once, he wants to indulge in this domestic dream of his.
“If you let me.”
Humble, timid, and definitely not showing how enthusiastic he was about helping you.
You nod and guide him upstairs. Margaret’s room was just next to yours, even though you prefer to sleep with her, still too nervous about her getting tangled in her own blankets.
As both of you reach the room, shades of pink and white greet Leon. Some toys are scattered around the floor too. Proof of Margaret’s wholesome behavior.
Margaret shifts in your arms, her previous peaceful demeanor changing given the frustration of not falling asleep yet. She is pretty much easy to handle when nap time comes, but today is one of those days.
“You told me I could help.” Leon's hushed voice reaches you. His eyes express the need to assist you in a task like this.
“Sure…” Your heart flutters as Leon steps up to help you. You indeed asked him if he wanted to come with you. But the fact he had so eagerly accepted the role made you appreciate him even more.
If that was even possible.
As Margaret starts letting out soft cries, you hand her to Leon who is quick to catch her. At first, Margaret is held rather awkwardly which brings a smile to your face before her cries get really serious.
You help Leon by moving his hand. That gains a quiet ‘ok ok’ meaning that he got the hang of it.
He positions Margaret on his chest, her face seeking the crook of his neck as she continues letting out tiny sobs. With his hand supporting his back, he rocks her.
If anyone were to see him, they'd think he's a father holding his daughter. But in his mind, he's holding your world, his world.
Oblivious to it, Leon started humming a song. He doesn’t know where he had heard it before. Maybe it came from his mother, a memory he thought was deeply buried in his mind.
Eventually, your baby falls asleep which definitely boosts Leon’s mood as she grins. He's built for this! He thinks.
He lays Margaret in her crib. The little one breathes slowly as she drifts off to dreamland.
Both of you slowly and quietly walk out of the room making sure not to make any loud noise and wake the sleeping princess.
As you slowly descend from the stairs and are once again in the living room, Leon’s mind is filled with expectations.
What's next?
What is he supposed to do now?
As if on cue, your words break the silence.
“I forgot to order the food.” You sheepishly admit as you nervously laugh. Between cleaning the house before Leon came and taking care of a toddler the fact that a dinner without food wouldn't be a dinner slipped out of your mind.
“I'll do it right now just give me a second to search for this one restau—”
“Hey, it's okay.” Leon reaches for your arm before you can walk toward where the phone is. He takes this opportunity to do all the things he has wanted to do with you. To accomplish each one of those silly yet endearing wishes of his.
“Besides… this is a great excuse for us to bond more.”
He lets go of your arm but instead, his hand takes out his cellphone. Your eyes curiously watch as he types something.
For a moment, Leon doesn't utter a word and you can see how his fingers are slightly shaking.
Leon looks up from the phone and gives you a gentle smile before he sets the phone aside. After a couple of seconds, the slow and wistful chords of a piano announce the beginning of a song.
“May I have this dance?” Leon extends his hand toward you.
You opt to accept his hand. In the back of your mind, you wanted to tease him one more time. Just like you did when he told you happy Valentine’s. But you feel this is way more important than those simple words.
As your hand locks with his, he pulls you closer to his body. His free arm finds its home in your lower back, not too low to keep it PG and not to discomfort you in this intimate dance.
Letting him guide you, you sway from side to side. His past self wouldn't have imagined that he could reach this level of serenity and tranquility. The simple thought of having a family was like a faraway dream.
Your head rests comfortably on Leon's shoulder, the scent of his cologne being your new favorite aroma. The one that brings you memories from the time you met him to all the dates you had that led to this very moment.
The song continues its course, and the outside world is forgotten for a moment. No words are exchanged as both of you drown in the homely feeling of dancing in each other's arms.
After a while, without lifting his head and allowing his lips to ever so slightly graze against your ears, Leon's voice cut through the peaceful melody.
“Let me in.” He whispers, his hands ever so slightly tightening around your middle section. His words brush against your ear like the soft melody that plays in the background.
“What do you mean?”
“Let me in, in your life. I don’t want to ask you to just be your partner.” The weight and truth of his statement turn your head in a messy place. “I want to be part of your life and Margaret’s.”
He wants to stick around, he wants to be greeted by you and Margaret each time he comes back from a mission. He wants to give Margaret the childhood he never had. And, he wants to fulfill every little dream you and he may have.
“I want to wake up next to you each morning. To Margaret telling us she's hungry in her own way.” He's always been a man of few words, but in this moment he could recite the whole bible if he wanted.
“I want to put Margaret to sleep every day just like I did today. And I want to sleep next to you every night, knowing that you're safe.”
“I don't want you to be a memory.” His lips move to the side of your face, daring to kiss your cheeks in a sweet manner. “I want you to be my whole life.”
Smoothly and with ease, his words fall from his lips while his tempo never falters. His thumb now softly rubs your skin, where his hand is located to support your back in the dance.
He'd want to take pride and tell you he's that good with words. However, many times he has rehearsed this speech that if he had stumbled on his words he'd have let the earth swallow him.
And as the song came to an end, so did Leon’s confession.
A few seconds of silence create the worst nightmare in Leon's imagination. He could already hear your words telling him you don't feel the same that you're already in love with someone else or—
Your knuckles caress Leon’s face, feeling the growing stubble on his cheek and jaw. The sensation of being touched like this has been a long-distance memory that he's completely forgotten what being loved felt like.
He now feels both of your hands cupping his face, prompting him to look you in the eyes. His blue eyes lock with yours and admire the softest of expressions drawn on your face.
As he gazes into you, he can only think how in love he is. And what a good life awaits for him.
And what feels like both an eternity and a split second, your lips connect with his in a tender yet meaningful kiss. One that he's been expecting after all this time.
The one is indeed not a myth.
AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: I had so much fun writing this. There's something about found family that makes me all soft and sappy lmao. And sorry if my despiction about cops is wrong... I've never set foot in the US so spare your writer the embarrassment. Anyway, I hope you all have a beautiful day! No matter if you spend it with your lover, friends or alone. (Dividers are from: @/cafekitsune)
💬 SHADESOFLSK: Comments, reblogs and likes are very much appreciated.
#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy fluff#resident evil#resident evil x reader
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
The Beauty and the Beast
Logan Howlett x Reader!mutant!
Soo I've decided to try out writing one shots again. The last time I did that.. oh hell.. definitely some years ago. So please don't judge if it's not a masterpiece. I hope you still enjoy this imaginary! <3
Please let me know what you think about it!
Warnings: Mostly fluff, maybe here and there some swearing, but that's all
‐-----------------------------‐-----------------------------‐---------
It was one of those fun evenings that you could only experience if you lived with Wade Wilson. Today, however, was a special occasion: Wade's house party.
The apartment that Y/N shared with Blind Al and him was filled with many different people - friends that Wade had made over the years. And then there was the new roommate, Logan Howlett, who most people only knew as Wolverine. He actually came from a different timeline, but after they both fought Cassandra Nova, Logan was more like stranded in this universe. According to Wade's brief tales, the Wolverine unfortunately had no future in his world, but he did in theirs.
Y/N, unlike Wilson, was a quiet person. One who rarely said much, but always listened and observed. She was the perfect example of still waters run deep. It was this calmness that fascinated Wade from the very beginning when they met in that cruel experimental camp. They both went through hell and became mutants in the end.
Y/N developed the ability to project the pain and feelings of others onto herself or onto others - a power that was both a curse and a blessing. Wade, with his regenerative ability and wacky sense of humor, had quickly become a steady anchor for her. He was her best friend who understood her like no one else. She lost her memory as a result of the human despising experiments, which is why she still doesn't know exactly who she is today.
They had stuck together ever since they had escaped the camp, and Wade never hesitated to make fun of Y/N's quieter ways - in his own affectionate way.
Lately, though, he found a new target for his jokes: Logan and Y/N. It hadn't escaped Wade's notice, nor Blind Al's, that there was an unspoken tension between the two, even though they had barely spoken since Logan moved in.
Y/N had kept an eye on Logan from day one. It was hard not to. He was, after all, an imposing figure - broad shouldered, muscular, with an prominent face and those eyes that always looked a little melancholy, as if they had seen and suffered too much. His kitty cat hair and beard, which Wade loved to make the target of his jokes, gave him an almost animalistic appearance.
Every morning, Logan and y/n met almost simultaneously in the apartment because they had one thing in common. Insomnia. In the kitchen, Logan prepared coffee for both of them, and she made breakfast or dinner in return. They ate together in silence, but they both always looked at each other when the other wasn't looking. If their eyes met, they both gave each other a warm smile. Sometimes, it was irritating for Logan that he was hardly ever grumpy towards her, but he couldn't even help it.
One evening, Y/n came home after a walk. She took her towel and clothes from her room and walked into the bathroom. To her surprise, she saw Logan standing in front of her in just a towel tied around his hips. His hair was wet, just like his upper body. He turned to her and cleared his throat.
"Sorry about that. I'm almost done." He said in his deep voice.
Y/n felt the warmth on her face. There was a lot of humidity and heat in the room, which made it feel harder for her to breathe properly after seeing him like that. Before she nodded and left the room, she couldn't help but let her eyes wander over Logan's body again. She had to admit that she found him incredibly attractive.
But it wasn't just his looks that attracted Y/N; it was the depth that lay within him, a darkness she knew all too well.
Wade noticed those looks from day one and couldn't help but comment on them every time. At breakfast, Y/N sat quietly, absorbed in her thoughts, when Wade came in, tousled her hair, and said, "Good morning, sunshine! Are you dreaming about our hairy roommate again? Tell me, do you prefer him in flannel or without anything?"
Grinning, he put his head on Logan's shoulder, who was looking into the open fridge.
Y/N choked on her coffee and started coughing like mad.
Logan, in return, roughly pulled his shoulder away and tensed his jaw.
"Bub, you really want to go through the void scenario again?" Logan growled, closing the fridge. Wade just laughed out loud and stood behind y/n.
"Oh please, Logan! You know, well, I'm just teasing you." replied Wade, unimpressed. He started massaging y/n's shoulders and added with a wink: "But honestly, y/n why so shy? Don't be so old school and make the first move yourself. I mean, Logan may look like a wild animal, but deep down, he's a cuddly bear."
Blind Al walked by the open kitchen door and just shook her head and mumbled, "One day Logan's really gonna rip his head off, and I'm gonna fucking enjoy it."
That night, while the party was playing at full volume and Wade was getting into over-the-top shenanigans with the guests, Logan suddenly realized that y/n was no longer in the room. He looked around, but it was as if she had vanished into thin air. His eyes wandered to the window front that led to a fire escape. By now, he knew that it was typical for her to hide in places like this when the crowd got too much for her.
Logan pushed his way through the people and stepped out into the cool night. There, on the fire escape, he found y/n. She was sitting on the metal step, her arms wrapped around her knees and staring off into the distance. The lights of the city glittered before her like an endless sea.
"Are you here to hide from Wade, or are you just enjoying the view?" Logan finally asked, his voice quiet and low.
Y/n smiled faintly. "Maybe a little of both. Sometimes I just need a moment to think, you know?"
He nodded thoughtfully, though he knew she didn't look at him.
"I know what it's like, bub. Sometimes, it's hard to get a clear head when everything around you is so loud."
"Yeah." she replied quietly before adding after a pause, "But you know what I still don't understand? How someone like Wade managed to get someone like you soft."
Logan snorted and gave her a skeptical look. "Soft? That's not exactly the word I'd choose."
Y/n smiled. "Oh come on. You never would have gotten yourself into such a mess if there wasn't something about Wade that made you...let's say, more human."
Logan scanned her face in the dark with a smile and stopped his eyes on her lips.
"Maybe you're right," he murmured with a smile. "Or maybe I've just gone crazy."
He sat down next to her, and the metal creaked softly under his weight. They sat side by side in silence for a while, listening to the distant hum of the city and the muffled noise of the party behind them.
"It's nice out here," Logan finally said and leaned back. He put his head back in the neck, closed his eyes, and breathed in the cool air.
Y/n looked over at him and felt a comforting warmth in her stomach area as her eyes traveled from his profile down to his neck and then to his muscular torso.
Y/n smiled. "I like being here when your own world is a little noisy."
Logan opened his eyes again and nodded as if he knew exactly what she meant. "I understand what you mean. Sometimes, you just need distance."
Y/n looked at the city again for a moment. There was a brief, comfortable silence.
Her voice was soft, almost hesitant. "May I ask what your real story is?"
He looked at her sideways, surprised by her question, but then he looked off into the distance. "I've lost a lot. More than any human should have to bear... and it's all my own fault." He paused as if collecting himself before continuing. "I was born in the early 1800s. Went through all that crap - wars, experiments, the loss of people I cared about. And then I became... what I am today. A man with a skeleton made of adamantium, unable to die." he sighed.
"One night, a group of humans went mutant hunting and attacked the X-Men. I had just tumbled out of the nearest bar and heard the screams of my own people."
He began to play with his hands and became tense before continuing on about how he didn't help his team and let them die.
Y/n listened attentively without interrupting him. Her sympathy for him grew, so she slowly began to project his feelings onto herself. She felt incredibly sorry to see him like this. He had already been through so much and now it was all coming up again because of her curiosity.
She could feel all the hatred and sadness that was deep inside him. With tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat, she looked at her hands.
Logan furrowed his eyebrows and suddenly fell silent. He didn't feel a single emotion when he continued his story. Not like he was used to. He looked to Y/n.
"What are you doing to me?" he asked in a calm voice.
Y/n's head lifted, and she blinked away her tears, smiling. "I'm sorry." She said softly and put her hand on his.
Silence for a moment. Logan stared at their hands and realized what just happened. He looked at her.
"I've learned to deal with it, bub. As best I can."
They were both silent for a while, lost in thoughts. Finally, it was Logan who broke the silence again. "And you? How did you get your powers?"
Y/n took a deep breath before she began. "Unfortunately, I can only remember the day I was taken to the experimental camp. They ran various tests on me there. Wade was there too, at the same time. We got to know each other there."
She paused as the memory of those horrible days overcame her. Logan squeezed her hand lightly, as if to let her know she wasn't alone.
"Wade and I kept each other alive," she continued softly. "Without him, I probably wouldn't still be here. He made me laugh, even in the worst moments. And at some point, we managed to escape. Since then... well, he's kept me on my toes ever since. Eventually, I made a new friend and now have powers that allow me to project the feelings and pain of others onto myself."
Logan nodded in understanding. "Wade may be crazy, but he's got a big heart. Even if he likes to hide it behind his stupid sayings."
Y/n smiled at those words. "Yeah, that's true. He's my best friend. Without him, I don't think I would have ever found my way out of my darkness."
"Then I guess I owe him," Logan said, his gaze soft but serious.
"Maybe," Y/n replied softly. Their eyes met, and in that moment, the connection between them felt stronger than ever. It was as if they understood each other through their shared experiences and the pain they both knew.
Logan looked at y/n, and in her eyes he recognized a pain so similar to his own that it almost took his breath away.
The distance between them seemed to close as they leaned towards each other, as if drawn by some unseen force.
"Logan..." Y/n whispered barely audibly as her eyes slid to his lips.
He didn't answer with words. Instead, he removed his hand from hers and placed it on her cheek. His thumb gently stroked her skin. The world around them seemed to blur as they drew even closer. It was as if they only existed in that moment. Only for each other.
And then, without further hesitation, Logan closed the last few inches between them. His lips met hers, gently at first, almost hesitantly, as if testing to see if she was about to pull away. Y/n's eyes closed as she returned the kiss and her hand finding its way to his neck as she let herself fall deeper into the kiss.
It was a kiss full of unspoken words, full of emotions that neither of them had been able to express before.
The world around them disappeared, there was only the feeling of their lips meeting in a mixture of tenderness and desire. But as beautiful as this case was, it was interrupted with a familiar voice.
"Heyy are you two making out here? Without me?" Wade's voice boomed into the night, accompanied by his trademark wide grin.
"Logan, you old romantic, you really picked the perfect moment to start a fling with y/n. Shall I get the camera? Wait a minute, I need popcorn too - what's on today, 'Beauty and the Beast'?"
Logan immediately backed off, while y/n slapped a hand over her face, half annoyed, half amused. "Gosh Wade..." she began, but he interrupted her immediately.
"What? I mean, I totally get it - Logan is a sight to behold! And those biceps, mmmh! But honestly, Logan! You, the man who usually stares at walls like they're his greatest enemies, are suddenly in the middle of a rom-com moment? What's next? Candle light dinner and a love song in the background?
Tell me you at least have some cool lines in store before you fuck her!"
Y/n reached out with her hand and smacked Wade's thigh, laughing. Her embarrassment was forgotten.
Logan, on the other hand, sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes as if trying to erase Wade's voice from his brain.
"For fuck's sake Wade, I swear, if you-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, 'if I say one more sentence, I'll have your claws up my ass'. Been there, done that."
Wade grinned broadly and winked at y/n.
"But, y/n, come on, I need to know - how does it feel sucking on the lips of the King of grumpiness? Electrifying? Did you feel sparks? Or did he just taste like whiskey and world weariness?"
Y/n couldn't help but shook her head with a laugh and looked at Logan. He scanned her face and you'd swear the corners of his mouth were twitching upwards.
"Wade" Logan admonished, his voice an octave lower, "if you don't get out of here right now, you might not live to see your next birthday."
Wade raised his hands in a gesture of peace.
"Hey, I didn't mean to interrupt you two lovebirds. But seriously, Logan, if you've come this far, do it right! A kiss under the stars? Come on, it's movie material!"
Y/n looked back up at Wade with a smile. Logan just shook his head, but a small smile crept onto his face.
"You're impossible, Wade."
"And that's exactly why you two love me so much! Now get your bums in here before Blind Al starts beating us all with her crutches!"
Wade winked at them before disappearing back into the apartment, still laughing.
Y/n and Logan glanced at each other, and an unspoken understanding passed between them. The moment had been shattered, but the connection they felt remained.
"He really is crazy," Logan finally muttered as they stood up.
"Yeah" Y/N replied with a soft smile. "But he brings out the best in us, doesn't he?"
"I guess he does," Logan agreed before he put a hand on her back, and they both stepped back into the noisy, chaotic world inside where Wade was surely already planning their next escapade.
‐---------------------------------------------------------------------
#wolverine x reader#logan howlett imagine#wolverine x you#logan x reader#y/n#hugh jackman#logan howlett#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#marvel#oneshot#fluff#fem reader#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman x you#x men#wade wilson
438 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've never really talked on here about how I figured out my gender, and since this whole egg discourse is going on, I feel like I should.
I'm not one of the trans women who figured out their genders at age 4 and became fully confident of it. Up until around 16 I didn't even begin to consider that I may not be a cis guy and it took me up until almost 19 to fully realise I was a trans woman. Before this, at 18, after feeling particularly shitty for weeks (from what I later learned was definitely dysphoria), I attempted suicide.
I only really started to understand myself once I started hanging out with other trans people on discord servers. My perception of transness was the more mainstream-accepted version (at that time) of "I always confidently knew I was a woman basically from birth and I exhibited x, y and z feminine behaviours at all times etc." which I didn't fit in with, so I always thought "well I can't be a trans woman because that's not me". Being around other trans people, and especially having other trans women point out behaviours I had, and tell me "that's also how I thought before I realised I was trans" helped me immensely.
I didn't get any of the rigid online definitions and examples, nor did I get the perfectly sanitised videos from the handful of trans people who made it on youtube. None of that felt like me at the time. I didn't have any point of reference. I only really understood myself once I related to someone who used to be in the same position. If some trans girl didn't call me an egg, I might still be a completely miserable "cis" guy to this day still, or even dead.
I understand that others have had worse experiences when it comes to this, but we must recognise that the problem in these situations is outing or harassment. The porblem is abuse, and as with all things interpersonal, you can always turn it into abuse. As with all things interpersonal, you have to have some amount of tact and caution.
I don't think we should harass anyone into getting their egg cracked (and this happens vastly less often than people here seem to think but it does happen), but also we shouldn't be constantly agnostic about if someone is trans or not, because in the end not everyone is capable of coming to that conclusion by themselves, and by the time you've "let them figure it out" they might've spent several more years being miserable and not knowing why or they might be dead.
It is also very important to point out that this discourse is only really happening because there is a particular bias against trans women. This isn't a discussion of how to approach the subject, or a handful of people talking about their experiences with it, it's a discourse where one side is trying to problematize another aspect of the transfem community. Notice that people are arguing this when it comes to transfems and not cis gay people or even transmascs. Notice that this website always cycles back to attacking some aspect of the transfem community every couple of weeks.
Do you really think these arguments are being made in good faith? Do you really think it's worth adding to the sea of transmisogyny that is this website and most of the world?
As always, this post is meant for people who are genuinely well-meaning. The dipshits who keep jumping on any excuse they can to harass trans women can go fuck themselves.
716 notes
·
View notes
Text
War Between Kin
Request: Yes or No
Summary: When Rhaenyra Targaryen takes her throne back, she ensures to take care of the remaining Greens in the Keep. Jacaerys attempts to figure out the whereabouts of the Usurper King Aegon by questioning his younger sister.
Pronouns: She/Her/Hers, F!Reader
CW/TW: Typical GoT/HOTD warnings, AU where what happened in the Gullet does not occur, for plot purposes Jace and Baela are not engaged, potential spoilers for S3/events in the books, mentions of Targcest, brief mention of arranged marriage, bastardphobia,
I'm about to fill up the fucking tag because of this man. Super short but here you go for my fem readers!
~~~
"Where is Aegon Targaryen?"
"I've already told you, I do not know."
Jace had long grown tired of repeating himself, and he knew for certain his aunt had grown tired of the questioning the first time he asked. A rough near twenty minutes had passed since he'd first entered the bedchambers she'd been confined to when his mother returned to her rightful home, and he'd learned nothing new about the whereabouts of his missing uncle nor who could have had a hand in smuggling the usurper out of King's Landing.
Truthfully, Jace's patience always had a tendency to run out. He certainly felt it reaching the end of its line as he bounced his knee and laced his fingers over his stomach, eyes tracking his aunt as she paced the room back and forth clad in that godsforsaken shade of green Dowager Queen Alicent often wore. His legs ached just watching her continuously move, although he suspected if she stopped and sat across from him as he'd asked her to numerous times, she'd likely strike at him until someone tore her off him.
"He is your eldest brother, is he not?" Jace spoke through near-gritted teeth, the bouncing of his leg intensifying with each passing second.
The longer they went without locating Aegon Targaryen, the longer his mother went without rest. He remained a threat to them all, even in his battered and ruined state. Half his body burnt, they'd said, and hardly able to walk by himself without help. Jace hardly understood why anyone would desire someone in his state on the throne.
"I am not my brother's keeper." (Y/N) seethed lowly, voice laced with irritation and legs continuing to move back and forth across the room. Her hands tightly clutched the skirt of her dress, keeping it barely lifted to avoid tripping over it.
Despite the rather eyesore of a color reminding Jace of her traitorous family, he'd be a fool to deny it wasn't a beautiful dress that suited her well. She looked regal, if not incredibly furious with him and the rest of his family. It'd been expected after all the fighting and bloodshed between their families even before the war began.
"Do not lie to me, Aunt." Jace scoffed, bracing his arms against the table before him. "All my life, you've always been the watcher amongst your siblings. I doubt not a single thing happened in this castle, in this city, without you learning of it. You must tell me where your brother has fled before Daemon's patience with your stubbornness runs thin. He will not be as kind as I have been."
(Y/N) scowled at him and finally ceased her mindless pacing, her back turning to him and hands raising to her face. In all the years Jace had known the beautiful woman before him, he'd only ever seen her lose her icy demeanor once when Aemond's eye was taken and she'd bitten the skin around her nails until they were raw. He disliked it. He much preferred her snarky attitude over her anxious habits unbefitting of a lady such as her.
"What of Helaena?" She questioned abruptly, her dress swishing when she spun around to face him and her eyes squinting with an unspoken accusation. "You have kept your dogs at bay, have you not? She is not of sound mind."
"Helaena is the most innocent out of the lot of you! Her Grace would never bring harm upon Helaena, of all possible people." Utterly absurd! Jace hardly believed his ears, hardly found it within himself not to snap at her and remind her it'd been her brother who'd killed Luke mercilessly. Still, (Y/N) released a dry laugh, her shoes smacking against the ground as she stormed up to the table.
"Do pray tell, Nephew," She spat the word venomously, as if it were full of filth. "What were Rhaenyra's intentions when she hired those animals who forced Helaena to choose between her sons? What were Rhaenyra's intentions when those animals killed my nephew before his siblings, mother, and grandmother? Helaena has lost her mind. She relives that night every waking moment. A son for a son, they claimed, justice on behalf of Rhaenyra the Cruel."
Jace shot up from his seat, nearly knocking the chair back from sheer force, and slammed his palms against the table with his lips pulled back into a snarl. "Her Grace did not order the death of any of Helaena's sons!"
"Oh, even better, she cannot keep a leash on her own people, then?" (Y/N) laughed again, dry and bitter. "Let us pray Aemond and Daeron arrive quickly with their army, shall we? At least then we will be spared the reign of a queen who cannot control her own allies. It's pathetic, Jacaerys, utterly pathetic. Even if the Realm allows a queen to sit the throne, they will never accept a bastard."
"Mind your tongue, Princess, before I-"
"Before you what?" (Y/N) rounded the table swiftly, gliding along the floor until she reached his side. He managed to turn sideways to face before their chests pressed together, their faces mere inches apart and noses threatening to brush against each other. Jace stiffened, his hands rolling into tightly clenched fists and eyes struggling to remain focused on the lilac of her irises. "Before you cut my tongue out as your grandfather once threatened? Do it, then. Cut my tongue out, here and now, and show your subjects you will not be a king of words alone."
Jace remained silent, his nostrils flaring with his deep inhale and jaw clenching. A challenge, a rather blatant one from his aunt of all people. His cheeks warmed against his will, the embarrassment trickling in because he'd never dare to lay a threatening finger on a lady, much less a beloved princess of the Realm. Jace stared into her eyes and swallowed, his mind searching for words he could shoot back at her.
"A bastard and a coward, then? You will be the end of our dynasty with your tainted blood." She hissed lowly, her breath fanning against his face. "The Gullet did not make you a warrior, did it? Not when you had to be dragged out of the waters full of arrows by another bastard."
"You-"
The sound of a sword unsheathing filled his ears and made his blood bubble with dread, unable to do anything else when she stepped back and pressed the tip of his sword against his throat. Jace's head instinctively tilted up, his heart beginning to drum against his ribcage when his adams apple dragged along the sharp blade threatening to cut his skin. Her lips curled up cruelly and she shook her head slowly, her earrings swaying with her movements.
"The Realm will never a bastard such as yourself to sit the Iron Throne. It'd be an insult to each of the Great Houses. I could end this pathetic display of a boy pretending to be man right here... but your inheritance would fall on the shoulders of young Joffery, and Gods know what Daemon would do to that boy with the line of succession so close to reaching his own sons. I would rather witness Daemon stew in his desperate desire to see his own blood on the throne than offer him up a child on a platter. Unlike your mother, I am not that cruel."
"Daemon knows his place." Nobody would ever believe those words, not even Jace himself. "He is King Consort. He's achieved what he's always desired."
"Has he?" (Y/N) slowly retracted the sword from his throat and tossed it onto the table with a clatter. "Or is he merely lying in wait as he's done time and time again? When he was refused the throne, he waited for the opportunity to arise to bring humiliation on your mother. When he was exiled, he waited for Ser Laenor to be no more so he could take the heir for himself. You are not his son, Jacaerys. You are an obstacle, and Daemon obviously despises obstacles. It will only be a matter of time before he realizes if something were to occur to your mother, he would rule as regent, and as regent, he'd do whatever he desired."
(Y/N) turned away from him once more, her skirt dragging along the stone floor as she walked toward her open window and stopped by it, staring out into the long expense of ocean. Jace took his sword and slid it into his sheath again, internally scolding himself for having grown distracted before he approached his aunt, his steps slow and cautious.
"Rhaenyra should have never been named heir." (Y/N) murmured, and Jace's eyes fell down to her hands, watching her scrape her nails along the skin of her fingers. Her eyes danced, never focusing on one thing for longer than a second as her mind continued working with thoughts and ideas Jace surprisingly longed to hear.
"And yet, she is the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms... and by late morrow she expects you to bend the knee publicly before the court."
"Or what? She shall behead me as she did my grandsire? I hear the executions have become a daily occurrence. Rhaenyra the Cruel's bloody reign, they shall call it. You will see in due time that we would have all been better for it if she had accepted the terms for peace. Your brother may have yet lived, and you would not have nearly met the Stranger in the Gullet."
"We are still at war, Princess, and we'd be fools to keep traitors in our midst," Jace spoke, but he could not stop the tremor in his voice. It'd been satisfying at first when they spilled the blood of Otto Hightower and his son, as well as the Small Council members who'd so openly opposed his mother. But then, blood continued to be spilled, and neither Rhaenyra nor Daemon would stop to hear of it. "It is... for the good of the Realm."
(Y/N) shook her head but otherwise remained silent, the fury she'd contained in her body dissolving. She continued watching the distant waves in the water, her nails only digging harder and harder into her skin until they threatened to break through to her flesh and blood. Unable to help himself, Jace clasped his hand over hers to stop the constant scratching, his lips pressing together and a quiet sigh escaping him.
"I am here to question you about Aegon Targaryen's whereabouts... but I suppose I should also inform you that your mother has made a proposal in an attempt to stop the bloodshed and put an end to the war. She's offered up a betrothal between you and I so that both sides may come together in marriage. Her Grace agreed to some of the terms that came with the proposal, among them a promise to not bring harm upon Helaena, Jaehaera, or Ser Daeron if he bends the knee. She will have the heads of Aegon and Aemond regardless."
His aunt stared at him for a good long while, her body eventually tilting to face him fully. Her arms dropped down to her sides, forcing Jace to drop his hand as well. She wet her lips and turned her gaze away, the news finally beginning to settle into her body. She opened her mouth, looking back at him: "I would rather fling myself from this window than marry a bastard and further tie myself to a hopeless cause."
#x reader#x you#x y/n#x female reader#house of the dragon#house of the dragon x reader#house of the dragon x female reader#house of the dragon x you#house of the dragon x y/n#hotd#hotd x reader#hotd x you#hotd x y/n#hotd x female reader#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys velaryon x you#Jacaerys Velaryon x y/n#Jacaerys Velaryon x female reader#jace velaryon#jace velaryon x reader#jace velaryon x you#asoiaf#asoiaf x reader
863 notes
·
View notes
Text
Much as I love the idea of PIDW being rife with terrible porn tropes and interesting (if contrived) erotic writing conventions, all actual evidence in canon would seem to indicate that apart from some sex pollen and "uh oh, the protagonist has gone into a fugue state, whatever shall calm him down?" type stuff, it was fairly vanilla.
Like, that's part of both Shen Yuan and Airplane's frustration with it, I think. It's full of sex and it's not even sex either of them enjoy the concept of. Airplane was fully just trying to pander to an audience he felt he knew and could manipulate, but not one either he nor his ultra mega hate reader were actually part of.
Not that they understood that themselves at the time.
I mean I know fandom likes to make Airplane less closeted than Shen Yuan (for a lot of reasons), which I support, but I feel like in canon at least... he didn't cotton on to Luo Binghe's change in interests at first either. It wasn't until he was watching his protagonist obsess over resurrecting Shen Qingqiu at any cost that the light started to dawn. For Shang Qinghua, also, many more years have passed since he was back in their original world. He's had more time to reconcile himself to certain ideas.
What glimpses we get of the person he was before he died, was reborn, and lived a whole other life well into adulthood, would seem to indicate that he probably wasn't much better than Shen Yuan back when he was writing.
I mean he probably was still BETTER (the bar is on the floor), like I bet he could have a fantasy featuring Mobei Jun without having an existential crisis or pretending it didn't happen, but he would have probably been like "wow I guess I've been writing so much m/f porn that I can't even enjoy it anymore and my brain had to come up with something else, anyway Mobei would make a hot chick tho, I'm gonna write one of his cousins as Binghe's next wife" and gotten on with things.
Basically I guess what I'm driving at is that it would be funny if SQQ and SQH figured they had a solid handle on the kinds of sex pollen-y porn tropes to expect from the world (mostly just the occasional fuck-or-die that missionary can cure), only for the rug to get ripped out from under them because the system incorporated a bunch of stuff from Airplane's subconscious to fill out the gaps. Not even his notes. His daydreams and fantasies.
SQQ: what the hell?! PIDW didn't even have werewolves or tentacle porn monsters!
SQH, suddenly reminded of some very specific fap sessions: right?! this is definitely weird and in no way my fault! it must be because of the genre switch!
SQQ: *suspicious*
SQH: which is your fault! you made the protagonist gay! in fact it's probably your fault that I'm gay too now!
SQQ: bullshit. what did you do. was this in a draft?!
SQH: *sweating* I can say with absolute confidence that it was not! I never wrote anything like this!
SQQ: *having a crisis now because maybe he DID accidentally cause the monsterfucker stuff and he desperately doesn't want anyone to realize that he's actually into it*
SQH: *continuing to sweat because the world is consistently manifesting content from his personal spank bank and if cucumber ever figures that out he's a dead man*
605 notes
·
View notes
Text
lifeline | yandere! capitano x reader
summary: things have only gotten worse since the captain met you.
content warning: mentions of murder (dottore dies), angst (and comfort?), delusions, it's a bit gross and mentions of blood
things have gotten worse since the captain last saw you.
this decay was gradual, slow even - the captain understood his actions, and he understood soon why certain things must be done but would you?
initially, the captain didn't know you, not well anyway but he knew that you were not human, he knew that you were a creation of dottore and so, he assumed you had no reason to exist besides dottore's commands.
you were created for war and destruction.
but when faced with death and the aftermath of war - your knees buckled and your skin turned pale, the sight of death made you sick, it scared you; so, dottore wrote you off as a failure.
the captain had seen these events take place; he did not know you well, nor did he know you personally but the captain bore witness to your creation and now, he would bear witness to your impending doom.
it did not matter, though.
"captain, do you believe I'm a failure?" you approached him, without the assistance of dottore, and spoke to him; you went out of your way to find and speak to him.
though this stunned the captain, he eventually shook his head, "no. I'm sure at times, it may-"
"do you think I will die for what I've done?" without waiting for a genuine answer, you asked another one, looking earnestly into the captain's eyes and he saw desperation looking into his eyes.
"I would not know," the captain replied, "not that it matters what happens, though."
you could not feel emotions like humans, so, why did you look so worried? why did you seem so afraid to die?
that did not make sense but to the best of his ability, the captain rubbed it off and tried hard to forget about you as you would soon be dead.
...
things have gotten worse since the captain last saw you.
it couldn't be normal - the captain reasoned, the way you looked at him, the way you behaved that day was not normal.
you should not be afraid to die, you should not worry about death - despite everything, you were not a human, you should not feel.
but you did - you proved it time and time again without falter. as if you were a human, you behaved like one would -- you cared like one would.
"captain, are you not feeling well."
perhaps dottore had wired you to sniff out how people felt? again, extremely off-putting, "I'm well," the captain replied, "and, how are you feeling?" it was a stupid question, the captain felt stupid for indulging a conversation with a... whatever you were made of.
"i enjoy being alive. life is much to behold," and with that response, the captain wanted to turn and leave but he didn't. "I am afraid of ceasing to exist, though. i do not want to go."
"why hasn't dottore-"
"he said i would gradually degrade and during that, he would run experiments on me."
gradually decay... "i see." with a sharp nod, the captain turned and left, feeling for uneasy than before.
...
things have gotten worse since the captain last saw you.
the captain had been watching you.
well, recently, he had begun watching you. it wasn't stalking per se, he did not try to hide it, you just never noticed.
the captain had a 'why', he had reasons and they made sense to him, though, on paper he doubted they would.
he would watch you as you sit in the garden, motionless for hours at a time before standing and coming back inside.
he would you as you stood at the front gate, looking past it - and the captain assumed you wanted to experience whatever life was beyond the gate.
it's a sad thing, really.
you must feel like a bird trapped in a cage and you don't even know it. you don't understand how that felt because you are under the assumption that you are living life to the fullest.
in passing, the captain heard a conversation better dottore and you: "doctor, do you know exactly when I'll... um, die?"
"I'd rather you not use that word. it's not fitting."
"I know, sorry."
there was a drawn-out silence and then a sign, "i'd say you have months of life left in you-"
"what if you just... fixed the gradual decay and maybe i could liv-"
"no. it's a waste of resources and whatnot. be grateful for the life you have."
"bu- okay..."
"good. now, try to get some rest."
all the captain could do was sigh. it was a sad thing, your life, that was.
...
dottore's words had affected you - the captain could see that as he watched you sit at the dining table, nothing in front of you, just a blank look in your eyes as you stared forward.
the captain approached you, seating himself at your side, and asked, "how are you feeling?"
"I'm lacking something, captain. i wasn't dying until the doctor took it from me - i want it back."
the captain looked at you, watching as you reached forward and grabbed a fruit from the fruit bowl, "dottore told me i had months of life left in me... but, i don't believe him. I'll die soon," you bit into the apple, "I'm not sure if i was ever able to taste food but i can't anymore."
"what is it dottore took from you?"
"i don't know."
why was this so frustrating? seeing you go from enjoying your newfound life to... grieving your eminent death. the captain swallowed, glancing at your hands, more specifically for bruised fingers that scratched at the skin of the apple.
"you still seem well."
"i know I'm being ungrateful... I'm being selfish, I think, for wanting to live... but, I don't want to leave life until I can see everything."
you had aspirations, you had dreams and that would all be cut short-
things have gotten worse since the captain met you.
because, it was at that very moment that the captain aspired to take you away from here, away from dottore.
...
things have gotten...
you would have died, you would have die having seen the world, having known that someone cared whether you lived or died.
things have gotten way worse...
you couldn't stay at that manor, not with dottore, not when he refused to be of any assistance. you did not deserve that.
things have gotten way worse since the captain last saw you...
you deserved the captain and everything that came with him. you deserve to live life to the fullest-
so, with you in the captain's arms, he got onto his horse and left with you. it had gotten to a point where all he could think of was what he would do tomorrow to make you feel better.
soon enough, you would be home with the captain and you would understand why he did it and be grateful.
someone like you doesn't deserve to die so soon - not before you can achieve your dreams.
upon reaching his manor, the captain carried you inside, bloody footprints trailing behind him.
...
"doctor..."
"no, no. it is not the doctor, you're safe now, (y/n)," at no point had the doctor harmed you, he had never mistreated you - instead of killing you, he would have let you live for longer, so why was the captain telling you such things about the doctor, "you're safe with me. the doctor cannot harm you any longer."
but, you were always safe.
"he never-"
"shh, shh," the captain ran his thumb across your cheek, trying to soothe you, to ease your tears - clearly you were relieved that the captain had saved you from dottore, of course, you were crying, "i will never allow any harm to come to you, never again."
what was happening?
"but the doc-"
"(y/n), relax. when tomorrow morning comes," the captain gestured to a slowly beating heart on the coffee table behind him, "you'll eat this. it is what dottore took from you, after all."
it was your lifeline! the captain had it... how did he find it? had he taken it from dottore, had dottke given it to him? no, he wouldn't do such a thing... the captain took it -- the captain took it by force.
come to think of it, there was a red stain on the captain's finger and now on your cheek.
you now understand very well what the captain had done to get your 'lifeline'.
"th-thank you," you were terrified but the captain nodded, "of course. it was no skin off my back. I'd do just about anything to assure your comfort."
"thank you... captain."
...
things have gotten worse.
things have gotten so much worse but the captain only saw his actions as necessary - killing dottore was necessary, stealing years of his hard work was necessary, and taking you was necessary.
it was all necessary - for the captain loved you and wanted you to live.
the captain wasn't sure for the longest time why he cared whether you lived or if you died but, as he carried you into his manor the night after killing dottore, he had a moment of clarity.
or something of the sort, anyway - he would not do such things for anyone unless he cared for them deeply, to kill for someone, to steal for someone -- it all meant something and for the captain, it meant love.
the captain loved you - flaws and all, and refused to let you die.
he refused to let you die without living out your dreams and experiencing the world - he refused to let you die with this newfound love he had for you.
that was all the captain thought of as he lifted your 'lifeline' to your lips.
without it, without him, you would die as he could take it just as easily as he had given it to you.
but knowing you, knowing your will, that wouldn't happen, not anytime soon - not when you had the whole world to see.
you would live for as long as the captain lived; he would live, love, and die for you and you for him, right?
#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere genshin impact#yandere scenarios#capitano x reader#capitano#yandere capitano#yandere capitano x reader
207 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know how sometimes arguing a point is losing?
Like if you engage the argument at all you are inherently putting up for debate things that should never be up for debate and the argument itself is degrading?
You see this with interpersonal gaslighting:
A gaslighter doesn’t simply need to be right. They also need for you to believe that they are right. In stage one, you know that they’re being ridiculous, but you argue anyways. You argue for hours, without resolution. You argue over things that shouldn’t be up for debate – your feelings, your opinions, your experience of the world. You argue because you need to be right, you need to be understood, or you need to get their approval. In stage one, you still believe yourself, but you also unwittingly put that belief up for debate. In stage two, you consider your gaslighter’s point of view first and try desperately to get them to see your point of view as well. You continue to engage because you’re afraid of what their perspective of you says about you. Winning the argument now has one objective : proving that you’re still good, kind, and worthwhile. In stage three, when you’re hurt, you first ask, “What’s wrong with me?” You consider their point of view as normal. You start to lose your ability to make your own judgements. You become consumed with understanding them and seeing their perspective. You live with and obsess over every criticism, trying to solve it.
[Source]
But you also see this on a broader societal level, with people asking unfathomably awful questions about minority groups, such as:
[Source]
It should go without saying, but no group of people should be forced to explain that yes, they really are real people, dickheads. The question doesn't deserve an answer; it deserves at best a disgusted eyeroll + "Are you a Nazi?" and at worst a punch to the face.
There is also the related phenomenon of the "when did you stop beating your wife?" type questions. The question is framed as a yes or no question, but the real answer for the innocent is: "I've never beaten my wife and never would." But even that answer still dignifies the question with a real response and puts the idea in the mind of the listener that hey maybe that's a real possibility and this guy is lying because of course he wouldn't just admit that. Now I don't know what to believe, but I'm skeptical.
Even if he answers, doubt has been cast on his character and many people (maybe even most people) neither have the attention span to listen to his full counter argument and supporting evidence nor are invested enough in strangers' lives to take the time to dig for facts on their own. Critically, it comes from a good impulse that shouldn't be repressed or taken too far in the opposite direction; namely, that we want to believe survivors and make it socially acceptable to speak out about abuse.
This leaves us with the uncomfortable reality that balancing believing survivors and whistle-blowers against not automatically believing allegations that very well may be false and/or in bad faith is a very tricky balancing act indeed. Because of this, people tend to struggle with taking survivors seriously and with presuming innocence until guilt has actually been proven, both. And as for the latter, this is at least partially due to the same psychological factors underlying the Don't Think of an Elephant problem.
Why am I discussing this?
See the thing is that these types of discourse have all been used, heavily, against the Jewish community, especially since Oct 7th, but really going back hundreds of years.
If you want to be our ally, you need to be on guard for how people use this rhetoric to accuse Jews of absolutely batshit cookoo bananas allegations (like being lizard people or having horns, or secretly running the world, or killing Christian babies to use their blood in our matzah, etc. etc.) and get away with it. Now obviously if so many people weren't already racist towards Jews as a people and had a vested interest in maintaining their supercessionist cultural worldview from Christianity and Islam, it would be a lot harder for this to work. Alas, the past 2000 years has created a bit of a snowballing effect.
This culminates in the effect described so well by Sartre:
Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past.
— Jean-Paul Sartre
Right now, Jews are facing extreme levels of these types of rhetorical abuse, and are receiving very little help in the way of pushback.
We have to stop trying to explain ourselves and start just naming these tactics instead.
467 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello!! I absolutely adore your writing and have been reading a lot of it recently 🫶
I have a request, but may follow a more sensitive topic? I was wondering if you could write a fic with Idia, Cater, Rollo (twisted wonderland), or Welt, Ratio, Boothill (honkai star rail) comforting a recovering reader struggling with SH.
I can understand the denial of this request, as it can touch on a sensitive topic, but it would mean a lot to me if you considered it. I've been struggling with this for a while and it would be nice to have some comfort with recovery.
Again, I adore your work and I hope you can consider my request.
Idia, Rollo, Cater and Welt, Ratio, Boothill with a Recovering Reader
Warnings: Mentions of SH
i hope you're doing well now anon. i'm so so proud of you and i'm cheering you on in your recovery. if you wanted something different, please let me know!
it's a sensitive topic that i don't have first hand experience in, so i hope that nothing comes off as insensitive.
Idia Shroud
It had been one of those days. The weight of everything felt suffocating, and you couldn’t quite shake the heaviness that clung to your chest. The dorm felt too loud despite the silence, and yet somehow still too empty. You needed an escape—something to distract from the gnawing thoughts that tugged at the edges of your mind.
So, naturally, you found yourself at Ignihyde.
You didn’t say much when you got there. It wasn’t like you needed to. Idia was sitting at his usual setup, bathed in the glow of his multiple monitors, tapping away with his game controller. He didn’t glance up, but his fingers paused just for a second.
“You, uh, can sit over there if you want,” he muttered, gesturing vaguely to a cushion beside him. “No big deal, really. You can just… chill.”
You took the offer, sinking into the seat beside him. Idia never pressed for conversation, which you appreciated more than words could express. The quiet was comforting in a way that only he could provide. His presence wasn’t demanding, nor was it suffocating—it was just there, a steady companion when everything else felt too much.
After a few minutes of just the sounds of the game filling the air, Idia spoke again, his voice quieter this time.
“I’m not, like, great at pep talks or anything.” His eyes stayed glued to the screen, a blush dusting his cheeks. “But, like, if you ever… I dunno, need a distraction or something, you can always come by. We can game or… just sit. Whatever works.”
It was such a simple offer, but the sincerity in his voice cut through the haze of your thoughts. You knew Idia wasn’t one for big gestures or emotional outbursts, but his awkward, roundabout way of offering support warmed something deep inside you. He understood—maybe more than anyone else—the desire to escape, to disappear into a world where the problems of reality couldn’t touch you.
The next few times you visited, the routine was the same. Quiet, gaming, the occasional muttered commentary from Idia. But there was something so comforting in the routine, in knowing you didn’t have to explain yourself. That he didn’t expect anything from you, just your presence.
One evening, as the two of you sat in comfortable silence, Idia hesitated, fidgeting with his controller before finally speaking.
“You’re, uh… You’re important, you know that, right? Like, I don’t have many people I’d say that to, but you’re… one of them. Just… don’t disappear, okay?”
The vulnerability in his voice surprised you, and you found yourself blinking back the sting of tears. It was a simple statement, but it held the weight of his affection and worry, wrapped in the awkward delivery that was so uniquely him. You didn’t have to say anything; you knew he wasn’t expecting a response.
Instead, you just stayed. That night, in the warmth of his presence and the soft hum of the game, you felt a little less alone.
Cater Diamond
You hadn’t realized just how exhausted you were until you found yourself dragged into Cater’s latest selfie spree. He had a way of sneaking up on you with his usual grin and carefree energy, his arm slung casually around your shoulders as he pulled out his phone.
“Hey! How about we grab some quick pics? No filters this time, just the two of us being real.”
Normally, you’d groan, roll your eyes, and let Cater have his fun without thinking much of it. But today, the idea of being in front of a camera, of capturing yourself as you were now, felt… daunting. You hesitated, tugging at the sleeves of your shirt, your eyes downcast.
Cater, as perceptive as ever, didn’t let it slide.
He turned the camera away for a moment, his smile softening just slightly as he glanced at you. “Hey, no pressure, seriously. We don’t have to do the whole selfie thing if you’re not feeling it. I just thought… you know, we could capture some real moments.”
You glanced up at him, noticing the way his usual carefree demeanor had gentled. Cater might act like everything was all fun and games, but he was more in tune with people’s emotions than he let on. He wasn’t forcing you, wasn’t pushing—just offering a moment of distraction, of fun, if you wanted it.
After a long pause, you finally shrugged, offering a small smile. “Okay, one picture.”
Cater beamed, but it wasn’t his usual bright, showy grin. It was soft, genuine, like he understood what a big step this was for you.
The selfie session wasn’t as performative as you’d expected. Cater didn’t force you into poses or try to make you laugh when you weren’t in the mood. He just stood beside you, his arm slung around your shoulders, and snapped a couple of candid photos. There was something comforting in the simplicity of it, in the way he let you just be.
After a while, he pulled back and glanced at his phone, showing you one of the photos. It wasn’t perfect—your smile was a bit lopsided, your hair a little messy—but Cater grinned at it like it was the best picture he’d ever taken.
“See?” he said, his tone light. “No filters needed. You’re perfect just like this.”
The compliment caught you off guard, and you found yourself blinking back tears you hadn’t realized were there. Cater, ever perceptive, noticed immediately and nudged you gently with his shoulder.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he said softly. “You don’t have to be ‘camera-ready’ for me. I like you as you are, messy hair and all.”
Later that evening, when you checked your phone, you found the photos he’d sent you. Beneath one of them, he’d written: "Real friends don’t need filters. You’re more than enough, just as you are."
And for the first time in a while, you believed it.
Rollo Flamme
Rollo had always been the type to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. You admired his conviction, his sense of duty, but today, as you sat beside him in the quiet of the garden, it was hard to find comfort in his seriousness.
You had come to him seeking solace, though you weren’t sure if Rollo’s stoic demeanor would offer the comfort you needed. He wasn’t one for soft words or gentle encouragement, but something about the way he watched the world with such intensity made you feel like he saw through the chaos swirling inside you.
For a long while, the two of you sat in silence, the rustle of leaves the only sound breaking the stillness. You expected Rollo to stay silent, as he often did, but after a moment, he spoke, his voice low but steady.
“There’s a battle you’re fighting,” he said, not looking at you. “A battle within yourself. I understand.”
His words startled you, not because they were untrue, but because they were so unexpectedly... personal. You glanced at him, finding his gaze fixed on the horizon, his expression unreadable.
“I’ve fought similar battles,” he continued, his tone measured. “It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, to believe you’re fighting alone. But you’re not. You never have to be.”
You felt a lump form in your throat at his words, and for the first time, you realized just how much you had been carrying by yourself. Rollo’s offer of support was understated, as was his way, but the sincerity behind it was impossible to ignore.
He finally turned to look at you, his eyes softening just a fraction. “I won’t pretend to understand everything you’re going through. But I’m here. I’ll stand with you, as long as you need.”
The weight of his promise hit you harder than you expected, and without a word, you found yourself leaning into his steady presence. He didn’t flinch or pull away—he simply let you rest, offering the quiet strength you didn’t realize you needed.
Welt
Welt’s calm demeanor had always been a source of comfort for you, but today, it felt especially grounding. After a long day of battling your inner turmoil, you found yourself seeking him out, hoping his presence could soothe the storm raging inside.
You didn’t have to say anything when you arrived. Welt, ever perceptive, seemed to understand without words. He led you to a quiet spot under the stars, his gaze gentle as he sat beside you.
“The stars have always been a reminder to me,” he said softly, looking up at the sky. “No matter how dark it gets, there’s always light somewhere. You just have to look for it.”
You followed his gaze, the twinkling lights above offering a sense of peace you hadn’t felt in days. The silence between you was comforting, not suffocating, and for the first time in a while, you felt like you could breathe.
Welt turned to you, his expression kind. “You’re not alone in this. Whatever you’re going through, you have people who care about you. And if you ever need a reminder, just look at the stars.”
His words were simple, but they carried a weight of sincerity that made your chest ache. You hadn’t realized just how much you needed to hear that. The stars twinkled above, and you found yourself nodding, tears brimming in your eyes.
“I don’t want to burden anyone,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
Welt shook his head, a gentle smile breaking across his face. “You’re never a burden. Reaching out is part of being human. We all have our battles, and sharing them makes them lighter. You have to let others in, even when it feels hard.”
You looked away, feeling the warmth of his presence wrap around you like a comforting blanket. Welt had a way of putting things into perspective, of making you feel seen without demanding anything from you. His understanding was a lifeline, a beacon guiding you through the darkness.
“What if I keep struggling?” you asked, the fear spilling out before you could hold it back.
“Then we’ll face it together,” he replied with quiet confidence. “Every time you feel lost, remember that I’m here, and so are the others. Just like the stars—sometimes hidden, but always there.”
As the cool night air wrapped around you, you leaned into Welt’s side, allowing the silence to envelop you both. You felt the tension in your shoulders ease just a little, the comfort of his unwavering presence bolstering your resolve.
“I’m glad you’re here,” you finally said, your voice steadier.
“Me too,” Welt replied, glancing up at the stars once more. “And remember, no matter how dark it gets, you are never truly alone.”
Dr. Ratio
Dr. Ratio sits across from you, his expression calm and thoughtful. He’s not the type to rush into emotional outbursts, but the concern in his gaze is unmistakable.
“You don’t have to go through this alone,” he says quietly, voice steady. “I know the weight you’re carrying is immense, but you’re stronger than it.”
You nod, feeling a knot in your chest loosen as he continues. “One step at a time. We’ll make sense of it together. Just know—I’m here for you.”
He reaches out, his hand resting gently on yours. His grip is firm but comforting, grounding you in the moment. The logical part of him is evident in his approach—he breaks things down into manageable pieces, knowing that’s what you need right now.
“There’s no shame in struggling, and there’s no shame in asking for help. It’s okay to feel lost, but you won’t always be. Healing isn’t linear, but each day is progress.”
His words settle over you like a warm blanket, soothing the anxious storm swirling inside. As you lean into his comfort, he offers you a small smile, the kind that tells you things will get better, even if it doesn’t feel that way now.
“You don’t have to have everything figured out today,” he adds, his thumb gently tracing soothing patterns over your skin. “But I’ll be here, however long it takes.”
Boothill
Boothill isn’t the type to hover, but he knows when someone’s hurting—he’s been there too many times himself. His heavy boots clunk against the floor as he approaches you, sitting down beside you in a quiet, solid presence.
“Life’s got a way of takin' pieces outta you,” he says, voice gravelly. “But you don’t gotta do this alone, partner.”
You look away, unsure of how to respond, but Boothill doesn’t push. Instead, he wraps a comforting arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. It’s a gesture so simple, yet so grounding. You can feel his steady heartbeat, his unwavering support.
“You’re tougher than you think,” he continues, his voice softer now, “but even the toughest folks need a hand sometimes. Ain’t no shame in leanin’ on someone.”
The weight of his words sinks in, and for the first time in a while, you let yourself lean on him, just a little. Boothill’s grip tightens ever so slightly, and he lets out a quiet sigh, as if holding the weight of the world alongside you.
“We’ll get through this, partner,” he murmurs, “one step at a time.”
Boothill isn’t one for long speeches, but the sincerity in his voice is more than enough. You feel the warmth of his presence, the understanding in his quiet demeanor, and for a moment, the weight you’ve been carrying doesn’t feel so heavy.
And with that, you know you’re not alone.
Masterlist
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#cater x reader#cater diamond x reader#rollo x reader#rollo flamme x reader#idia x reader#idia shroud x reader#honkai star rail#hsr x reader#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#welt x reader#boothill x reader#dr ratio x reader#ratio x reader#tw: sh mention
300 notes
·
View notes